The trouble is....
Friday, August 19, 2011
I have fallen into a crevasse... I am struggling with my programme at the moment, and am feeling very disappointed and embarrassed. I aimed to lose another 6 pounds in 28 days, and although the 28 days are not up quite yet, I already know I am not going to make it. I have not lost anything, except sight of my goal!
Where have I gone wrong?
1. Tracking – I did this for a few days, and really felt good about it, like I was actually in control. Then I ended up going away for a few days with friends, and completely falling off the wagon, so to speak. I even told myself it’s ok, you’ll be fine once you’re home again and managing your own meals etc etc. Just relax, it won’t be hard to take off a couple of wayward pounds, especially when they haven’t been there very long! The trouble is, when I got home I kept setting myself “new” getting back on track days, after the weekend, the first of the month, after next zumba session, after that dinner party. You name it, I was very good friends with “tomorrow”, but we all know about tomorrow don’t we? And now my 28 days are nearly up, and all I have to show for it is a distinct lack of progress.
2. Accountability – No one is going to beat me up about not losing weight. I can do that very well myself. The only person I am cheating is myself. I am responsible for my own poor choices, and the decisions I have made. The trouble is I think I do need someone to keep me accountable, and I need to be honest with myself too. When I was going to Weight Watchers quite a few years ago I’d be great for a few weeks, then I’d do something “terrible”, know that I have gained weight, and dread the weekly weigh in. The dread lead to not actually going – I’d say to myself I’ll work really hard this week, and lose both the weight I’ve gained and more, and no one will know I’ve messed up. But it never worked like that in reality – I just compounded the errors and ended up back at square one.
3. Weighing – This is another problem for me. If I have a “good” day, i.e. eat right, exercise etc I expect the scales to reflect my saintliness. The trouble is they don’t! I also have a very bad habit of leaping on the scales every five minutes expecting some miracle to have happened, and it doesn’t work like that. But I want it to work like that.... so when I see nothing happening or worse still, a gain when I am fully expecting to have lost at least 2 pounds from the day before I get discouraged. And I seek solace in the refrigerator...
4. Exercise – This is the one area in which I have managed to stay consistent. I now start to feel decidedly anxious if I don’t get at least 30 minutes of walking into my day.This is a very big change in my life. Exercise was never very important to me. But it does make me feel good and I want to continue to develop this side of things. The trouble is I don’t always track my minutes and when I think about it I’m short changing myself. I tend to think that 20 minute walk I did with the dogs doesn’t really count, or the half hour digging the garden is nothing, or the bike ride to the shops was not really worth tracking. This all adds up to not valuing my efforts, which in turn says a lot about the way I view myself, and how quick I am to dismiss anything I do as not being worthy of celebration, no matter how small it is.
The point is what am I going to do about it?
1. I will track my food like my life depends upon it (because in a way it does)
2. I will “weigh in” on the weekly Sunday weigh on my Spark Team
3. I will maintain my exercise regime, and increase it as much as I can.
4. I will share with friends my weight loss plans so they can be that extra support for me
I want to do this so much, I really feel committed to Spark People and the wonderful people I have met through the site. I will do this. I saw a sign today which said “Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can’t, you’re right”. This is up to me, and I know I am worth the effort!