Wednesday, August 17, 2011
I found my way back to Spark after a downturn in my health.
My MS has reared its head up again. My legs and back locked up and I would have spasms. I needed help to get out of bed and it would take upwards of 20-30 minutes. I became afraid to go to sleep, knowing how painful it would be to wake up the morning and try to move. My right leg would suddenly seize up in the grocery store, and I had to grab onto the cart to keep from falling. I was unable to make anything but short trips. My depression came back full force.
I went to see my doctors. One of them sent me to physical therapy. My neurologist tripled some of my medication and sent me for MRIís of my brain and cervical spine.
My right leg is still cramping up sometimes when I am out running errands and it is all I can do to straighten it out to the point where I get back into the SUV. There have been times Iíve had to grab the leg of my jeans and pull it into the car, gritting my teeth. Iíve had horrible pain, which has never been much of an issue for me, MS-wise.
I have been in PT the last few weeks, doing a lot of "core" work, stretching and beginning posture exercises. I hurt when I leave but I am making progress there. I can feel the results as time goes on.
I go back to see the neurologist in three weeks and we will view the new MRI's to see what in my nervous system sparkled like a Lite Brite. What will be the overall effect? Is this pain and spasticity permanent?
My therapist tells me to work on the things I can control. I am searching to find and name those things.
I am making my health priority. I am dealing with so much but Iím trying to minimize my stress levels and learn positive ways to cope with things. I know that if I can continue to learn more about healthy living, exercise and make use of all the resources available I can take some control. I feel like the MS is chasing me, breathing down my neck and I want to get ahead of it. Itís an uphill battle but I am pushing on as hard as I can.
Glow, little glowworm. Glimmer, glimmer.