OMG - I had a moment of thoughts that was both depressing AND motivating. I connected with a friend of mine that I haven't seen in over 25 years. To catch him up on my life, I started to write a quick summary of my life over the past couple decades.
With the cursor blinking at me, I began to realize the sad thought that, "Wow, I haven't really done much in the past 20 years, and haven't accomplished much either." I dropped out of college after one semester, been arrested once, struggled through 10 years of a lonely marriage, gave up all of my childhood hobbies, never saved any money, have no assets, don't own any property, still renting to have a roof over my head, have zero funds for retirement, got laid off from a great job and was out of work for 10 long months, now making a salary equal to almost 10 years ago, and, last but not least...gained over 80 friggin' pounds.
Jeez, what the hell have I done to myself over the past 20 years?
I could just cry right now. But men don't cry...right?
Fortunately, sadness turned into a glimmer of hope. I am not a lazy person. I am a hard worker. Sure, I have made some bad choices in life, but I have also made a few good ones, too. Although there is room for improvement, the past 20 years have not been wasted. I am relatively healthy, I have three wonderful children from that first marriage, and also now have a great stepson. I have a wonderful family and terrific friends who love and support me. I have the best wife a guy could ask for who is my light, my hope, and keeper of my soul. My salary isn't where is should be, but, at least I am employed. I don't own a home yet, but at least I have a place to live. I might just try taking up fishing again in a couple weeks. Oh, and those 80 pounds...thanks to SparkPeople, I am working on removing those...for good.
It is amazing how a look back can be just the reset one needs to build a bright plan for the future. I have a renewed vigor and passion for making the right choices and setting myself up for the future. SparkPeople taught me how to use goal setting and rewards to motivate myself and put plans into action. I may not be exactly where I planned to be according to dreams of the past. But, rest assured, I sure as heck like where I am now, am thankful for what I do have, and prepared to make the future two decades the best that they can possibly be.