Friday, August 12, 2011
It's appropriate to say that I have had an incredibly stressful couple of weeks with my friends illness, by peeps mom diagnosed with the big C and the additional emotional meltdown of my cat getting sick. I swear the vacation I so richly deserved was over shadowed with the drama that has become my new normal.
But what I found of late is that though I have tried to keep my choices healthy and my eating in control, I find myself eating so fast and literally scarfing my food without really tasting it. It is almost like a terrible chore that needs to be done quickly and without thought. Like washing the floor.
I find this odd because I love food and it's that love that managed to get me to this overabundance of fluffiness. I was eating my sandwich at job #2 last night and I was half way done, not enjoying it at all but was stuffing it to get it over with.
I mean what's up with that? What's the point of eating if I am not going to enjoy it? I need to lose weight so why eat if I am not hungry? Since when do I need to suffer to eat? I find it so weird.
Obviously I am emotionally eating but if I am not going to enjoy the food, why not make it something low fat and low cal that I don't really like anyway? Makes more sense to eat "diet" food if I am not thinking as I eat a ham and cheese on whole wheat.
If I am not tasting a chocolate chunk cookie, I may as well be eating celery.
Funny how these epiphanies present themselves when we least expect them. I ended up tossing my sandwich... then ate 3 cookies when I got home.
Emotional eating is not just about the good stuff.