Friday, August 12, 2011
Wow, I have had tons of success with this website. I have tried all sorts of diets, pills, and supposedly "magic fixes" because losing weight the right way is hard work. It takes time to cook, measure, and log my food, not to mention the hours sweating on the fitness equipment. But, for the past nine months, I have done it. I've not been perfect, but I was doing something right.
So,why have I given myself free rein to eat whatever I see in front of me for the last week or so? It really started going downhill on Monday. We had a swim party for our 4-H here at the house, and I bought several packages of hot dogs for the event. I had two at the party, and some chips, and a cheesecake dessert that is to die for. Ok, that is not going to kill me, and I knew I just needed to get back on track the next day. Things like that have happened all along my journey, but I knew it was part of life, and I was okay with that. But we had tons of hot dogs left over, and I have eaten so many of them over the past week (thank goodness they are gone)! I even made chili on Tuesday, and had two chili dogs that evening. I have munched on those chips I so proudly resisted the week before. Enjoyed pepper jack cheese on Triscuits. Thursday evening I ate 4 (yes, four) hot dogs. With buns. How does a person even physically do that? I've had to run quick errands to town twice over the past few days and had two medium (not small or mini sized) blizzards. Of course yesterday it was McDonald's fault because they had a truck blocking their drive-thru. I was going to have their ice cream cone, but when I saw that truck, I was determined to have the DQ blizzard, something I had talked myself OUT of before I left on that errand.
I got on the scale this morning and weighed 177. That is 12 pounds OVER what my ticker says. I know I haven't really gained that much, but I know I have gained a lot. Probably at least 6 or 7 pounds. I was SO close to my goal for the 5% Summer Challenge. One of the team leaders even posted congrats to me and a few others who were just on the verge of getting to our 8 week goal. I'm trying to analyze why I do this to myself. It seems like I hit a milestone, and then let myself go for a while. I just can't do that, but it happens every time. What will I do when I hit my goal? At this rate, I am taking three steps back for every one step forward. Yesterday I did great until that trip to town. But I checked my tracker, and that blizzard put me at my calorie limit for the day. So, I threw in the towel and had a cheese enchilada with the family. Then friends came over for a late night swim and I had some pizza with them. And that was AFTER I had "vowed to do better."
So, I am taking it one step at a time here. Tomorrow is weekly weigh-in for the Summer Challenge. I'm going to be honest, just like always. And I know there are people out there who will see the number and wonder just how the heck I can let myself go when I have come so far. Heck, they will probably wonder how a person can gain that much in just a week! And you know what? I wonder that, too. But I don't have the answer. I am thankful for all my friends on here, because I do feel accountable to you all. That is the difference in this site and all other weight-loss tools I have tried. So, here is me, confessing my "sins," and trying to climb back on the wagon.