My Story

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

My name is Danielle Morgan, I’m 31 years old and this is my story.

I started gaining weight as a young child. It was during grade school, that I became noticeable larger than the other students. As my weight became a concern, I noticed that the other children began teasing me. Little did I know that this was just the start of a teasing that would continue into Jr. High, High school, and even into my adult life. The situation was similar at home. My older brother used my weight as ammunition in our childhood tiffs, and my father constantly reminded me that I was different from other girls my age. My father acted as though my weight was an embarrassment to him and his friends. The emotional abuse from my brother and father continued for many years. My mother was more understanding, but as my weight continued to be an issue she agreed with my father and placed me into the Weight Watchers program at the age of 13. As if Jr. High wasn’t a big enough change for a 13 year old, I tried my best to follow the program and I lost a little weight, but eventually I started finding ways to hide my over-eating habits from my parents and the program was no longer effective.

By the time I graduated high school in 1998, I felt like I was huge! I suppose it was all the constant pressure and teasing that students and my parents placed on me. In all reality, I was only about 30 pounds overweight on my graduation day. Looking back I shake my head in disgust, because with the support of friends and family I could have easily achieved a healthy weight.

As an adult I have sort of become accustomed to the hurtful things that kids and other adults say to me. Having others call me fat, disgusting, or gross just roll off my back nowadays. I’m even used to kids asking me when I am having a baby, when actually I am not even pregnant.

A few years back I confronted my father and put my foot down to the emotionally damaging things he would say about my weight. I explained to him how I felt my whole life because of the things he would say and I gave him an ultimatum to both support and accept me, or to leave my life. Thankfully he changed, and since our relationship has flourished.

Oddly, even with an emotionally damaging childhood I have accepted my body for what it is, know that I am beautiful, and portray more confidence than other’s in my predicament.

I’m not new to this, I know that I am over-weight, and I know that my eating habits are out of control. During the last 10 years I have tried losing weight by following the Weight Watchers Program, and the BCN-Get Fit Program. Unfortunately, these programs didn’t work for me long term. I lost a little weight, but eventually fell off the band-wagon and gained it all back, plus some!

Honestly, a few years back I considered having weight loss surgery, but I was confident that if I wanted it bad enough that I could lose the weight on my own. Obviously, that didn’t work for me or I wouldn’t be writing this letter!

Since May 2010, I have gained nearly 90 pounds. I attribute some of the weight gain to losing my job last year and having access to food pretty much 24/7. As I packed on the pounds the past year, everyday things started to become difficult. Taking laundry from upstairs to the basement leaves me out of breath, putting on shoes and socks takes nearly 20 minutes to put on and I have to prop my legs on my bed to accomplish it. Trying to remain active with my 2 children has also become a concern for me. How can I teach them to be active if I can’t ride a bike with them, or be on my feet very long before the swelling begins and I become extremely fatigued. All of these scenarios forced me to reflect on my weight and how it has severely affected the life that I want to live. No one should have to be 31 years old and weigh nearly 400 pounds. No one should have to live that way and starting now, I am going to do everything I can to change that for myself.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    thank you for sharing your story. I too have been overweight since I was a child. As mine wasnt a huge problem i was still made fun of as well. The kids at school werent as horrible as my own sister and brother who would ask when my baby was due. My dad is close to 400 pds so he never said anyhting but my mom and dad never stopped my sister and brother. I was fine with my weight at 182 2 1/2 yrs ago. It wasnt until i had my daughter that I gained 60 pds within 6 months. I remember going to a water park with my hubby that i realized i had gained a lot of weight and ppl there were making fun of me. It took 2 yrs for me to want to lose weight. I have been trying the last 2 yrs but i havent succeeded. I am glad to here your story is similar to mine and hope that we can motivate each other!
    2385 days ago
    We all have a back story and thank you for sharing yours. I'm so glad you found the courage to speak up to your dad and that it actually went well.

    There's a lot of support here, use it and you will reach your goals!
    2385 days ago
    Thank you for sharing your story. You have no idea who you might have reached with that. So often we think our struggles are unique and that no one else understands. Having likeminded people to help you along your journey will make the journey easier. You are doing fantastic!!
    You will reach your goals, you are a wonderful example.
    2385 days ago
    Just keep at it and don't give up! SP are very supportive! Read, ask questions, login daily if possible. Add friends! Add me! I would love to cheer you on! :) emoticon emoticon
    2385 days ago
  • PHOTO_MOM_1984
    Danielle its sounds to me as if youve already achieved the hardest goals. Admitting your weaknesses and confronting your father. Weight loss is not going to be easy there will be up and downs both physically and emotionally. But, that is why you are here. To receive and give support. There are many valuable resources here that you will find useful. Congrats on making the first steps to success. We are all here to stand by you and help you achieve the rest of your goals. Keep up the awesome work!
    2385 days ago
    I think you're going to find a lot of support from others who have been (and still are) in your shoes. Everyone here is supportive and encouraging. Once I got on this website, I knew I'd make it and hopefully you feel the same way, too!

    2386 days ago
  • BECKY3774
    You inspire me already! Standing up to your dad must have been so hard for you, but you did it! I don't know that I could have done the same if I were in the same situation. My mom grew up with her dad (my grandpa) treating her that way, and she vowed to never do that to her kids, so it's ironic that it was a comment from her that set me in motion.....and it wasn't negative at all! It just hit me the right way at the right time, and I was off!!!

    I want to welcome you to spark! It has been so amazing to me these last couple of months already, and I look forward to sharing this journey with you. Please reconsider the surgery. You can do it on your own. I just know that you can. I'm here to help you whenever you need it, as are so many others.......Anytime you need anything, just let me know how I can help you, and I will do my best! Thank you for sharing your motivational story with us.... emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2387 days ago
    Welcome to sparkpeople! You definitely are not alone. Standing up to your dad must have taken a lot of guts and if you have the strength to do that you definitely have the strength to start this journey. Good luck and know that we're all here to cheer you on or to pick you up if you fall :) emoticon
    2390 days ago
    Welcome! You can do this, and don't be afraid to ask for help along the way. I have just started back after gaining back a lot of weight and am now left with having to lose more than I ever have. What I'm going to do different this time is use the support on these boards, I'm going to ask for help. I've been cruising the boards a lot in the last few days and already I'm feeling like I'm not alone, and you aren't either there is tons of support here.
    2390 days ago
    Welcome and wishing you all the best on this journey. You can do it...we all can - never give up! This website is awesome and a place to learn and be encouraged, motivated and supported.

    When I am starting out, I try to focus on just one day at a time. That one day leads me to day 2 and so on. It does get easier!! And as you begin to feel better, that in and of itself is incredible motivation.

    One day at a time!!


    2390 days ago
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