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Anti-Violence, Cycling, Grad School and More Pix from B&B!

Monday, August 08, 2011


- Peaced out of Connecticut last week immediately following a crazy violent domestic episode that I don't really want to go into detail about here, but just to say that it flipped me upside down enough that I'm still dealing with the emotions from it almost a week later. Today I left grad school and drove around the small towns around here with no purpose and felt outraged and that strange confusion feeling that sort of feels a tiny bit like peace in your soul because you know you are standing your ground about something important, even if everyone else doesn't understand. I promised myself I would not live with violence and in a situation beyond my control, it makes me feel good at least to feel SO convicted in that. I guess it's the only thing I can feel convicted about: being able to choose the kind of life I want to live. I did a lot of things I had to do this week to keep my word on that. But it's hard to deal with the repercussions of that, even if it's the right choice to be made. I think that's part of why I was so outraged earlier, and last night, too, and earlier this week. Driving through Barre alone, I found myself the privacy to have a "primal scream." It's a thing a leader on our trip referred to that night we all heard news that Christina had been killed by a car riding her bike that day. We all stood outside on the pavement in Tennessee and held hands, crying, and screamed at the top of our lungs in unison. I screamed in my car today, and the sound surprised me. I felt shaken by it a little, and in the way that you know your consciousness just shifted a little bit in that moment. It made me feel better for a while. Anyway...

- Had an interview at my old agency that went really well; she talked to me at the end like I already had the job/ it was mine. I feel confident because I worked for them for four years already and had good reviews; plus I have 2.5 years of exact experience from a different agency for the new program I'm applying for. Gotta go back for the meet the directors/ 2nd interview thing next week.

- I'm at grad school right now, taking an extra semester since ya know, the little bike thing that interrupted my Master's thesis thing. Finishing up and enjoying the peace of small town VT right now. Signed the lease for my new apartment today and unpacked my car, which was a weight off my shoulders. Furniture and stuff are getting delivered tomorrow morning and luckily I have the day to set things up - nothing much going on here that I have to do.

- I'm getting my bikes tuned up this week, too - well, the Giant at least because by the time I got to La Jolla with it, the crank was creaking haha and it just generally needs a check up, like any good thing you use repeatedly. I'm looking forward to riding the Specialized again since I have something to really compare it to now and it is a higher tier bike than the Giant I rode all summer. Now that I know a little bit about derailleurs, thanks to my drama this summer haha, I'm actually looking forward to seeing how the Tiagra on the Specialized feels in comparison to the Sora I started out with on the Giant, which is not the greatest in terms of quality in comparison. Later in the trip I had upgraded it to the Ultegra when we got to Colorado Springs due to the hanger snapping again and causing it to get damaged in the back wheel. (Guess we know which part Giant experimented with on this year's models, lol) That upgrade I really noticed, and it was lightyears smoother to ride and shift from gear to gear. I rode the Specialized earlier this spring and loved it before I even had the Giant but it's cool now to really understand and be able to notice the differences between hardware and bikes. It's kind of cool to have experience in something and know a thing or two- I love that retrospective experience of having learned it all by doing.

- I need to get new clipless shoes since mine got pretty much destroyed from wear and tear this summer. Thinking about getting white ones for the hell of it (or to be subversive), which is kind of rude etiquette since I'm not super fast or anything. White shoes are allegedly reserved as one of those unspoken rule things for the pro-cyclists. HA.

- I have been reminded in different ways lately that I'm glad I have running and cycling and endurance sports in general and the peace of middle Vermont woods and summer to get me through anything. I'm glad I am standing up for the life I want; that i'm LIVING.

Here's some more pictures from this summer since more people have posted their albums on the facebook and such. But first - here's a picture of me from behind at that I almost didn't recognize that someone else got of me at graduation yesterday when I wasn't noticing. (In the green cardigan haha)

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Im just so super proud of you DASH. You are such an inspiring person on all aspects. I love that you are enjoying your life and living it the way you want to. Keep on keeping on. Much love.
    2236 days ago
    Hugs for having to deal with what might sound like an extremely challenging time. It sounds like you are content, although still dealing, but content is good right?

    It sounds like you are making positive moves during the "hangover period" of your trip. I get that after any sort of run and it can be difficult sometimes...especially when you throw real life back into the mix of it all. Ugh.

    I can't wait to see you at the end of the month!!!!!

    Oh, and on the bike topic. The only part I recognized were "Giant" and "Specialized" only because I have a Giant and Bill has a Specialized, haha!!! Other than that, I have not idea what they are able to do.

    luv ya girl!!! Here's to the 26th!!!!!!!!
    2237 days ago
  • _TRIXIE_
    I have no idea what all that bike mumbo jumbo talk is (lol @ NYO's "bingo"!), but I'm glad you had the chance to experience it first hand. It has to feel good to just bust out a convo about fancy bikes like that. And yeah, I'd TOTALLY get the white shoes just on principle. :)

    Glad you're out of Connecticut and are moving into your place. And that pic of you in the green cardi reminds me that we need to see you in an updated photo of that goal outfit from last year. I bet it's too big!
    2237 days ago
  • CAALAN23
    I guess I've done the primal scream thing without realizing it. Sometimes you just feel the great need to let go and let it all out. Glad you feel confident and empowered to know what you want in life and are taking steps to make sure it happens.

    Love that second photo on the bike!
    2237 days ago
    You were right to get out of that environment. You did what was right for you and now you get to enjoy the peacefulness of Vermont.

    I got my fingers crossed on the second interview

    I hope your bikes comes back all tuned up and ready to go... which bike are you using for the iron man?
    2237 days ago
    Cheers to the life you want to be living.

    2237 days ago
    I'm sorry about the situation you were in that you felt the need to leave. But, I'm glad that you have such strong character that you were able to stand up for yourself and remove yourself from the situation.

    I have no clue what you're talking about when you're all up speaking in bingo (that's bike lingo, if you're not in the know).
    2237 days ago
  • SHEILA1505
    I'm so into the Primal Scream when necessary - I've gone into the mountains a couple of times when others tried to influence my life when I felt I was coping well with the deaths of both my late husbands and how to look after my kids. Glad that you let rip in your car.

    Funny thing about your BandB blog recently - I hadn't known what a derailleur was - looked it up and then my DD2 mentioned the same problems with her mountain bike so I knew what she was talking about!

    Good luck with the 2nd interview shortly
    2237 days ago
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