Saturday, August 06, 2011
I am starting to feel a bit like Sybil...like therre are two personalities inside of me. This is never more evident than when I am working out. I hear the old me telling me to stop...it is too hard..I am going to DIE!!!! But then the new me kicks in and shuts her up, tells me I CAN do this and to KEEP GOING. I read a post this morning about the head catching up with the body, and I truly don't know if that will happen for me. i walk through the kitchen and fat me see the debbie cakes and ALMOST reach for it,but the new me slaps her hand and reminds her of all the work I have done and how far I have come. I think the fat girl will always be there, but the new me is just going to have to smack her down, lay her out, land a couple pile drivers and knock her out.
As I have said in a previous blog music is hugely motivational for me. The song "Everlong" has a line that says "The only thing I'll ever ask of you...you gotta promise not to stop when I say when" is so true for me right now. Fat me wants to say when. This is a thin as I have ever been, and going beyond this point is a bit scary for fat me, but new me is excited and looking forward to it. When fat me wants to stop running, new me thinks about how HOT I will be and doesn't stop even though old me is SCREAMING when. This is a promise I make to myself, to not quit this time, to not give up, to not stop when I say when (except at the table)