Friday, August 05, 2011
Yesterday I weighed myself (as it was weigh-day). Yesterday I thought 'if I can keep losing two pounds a week, by my birthday I will be overweight instead of obese'. Yesterday I thought 'yeah! I can make an appointment for a physical for that day and show Dr. P a better me!'
Today I skipped my cardio. Partially because I couldn't go early (was waiting for a repair guy) and partially because an online buddy popped on and we chatted. I knew I had to leave for the Y if I wanted to work out before going to my job. I knew I wouldn't have time AFTER because I get off too late. I stayed around anyhow.
I have a fear of success. I sabotage myself in small ways. I lost four pounds in week one and got LESS excited about going to work out. I lost two pounds in week two and am skipping a day of cardio. 'Oh, I did extra yesterday' doesn't matter--I know I will sabotage myself and keep doing it. 'It's okay if I miss a little, I'm over!' will end up with me being under. And then WAY under. I set a goal and I think I got afraid of making it, doing it, being it, so I'm setting myself up for a big, fat failure. In small, sneaky ways.
So tomorrow I'm going to do my cardio after work. I'm going to do a bit extra to make up for today. And on Sunday I'm going to do my cardio. Then again on Monday. I'm not going to let myself do this again. I am NOT going to give myself the chance to fail. If I'm going to quit losing weight it's because I hit a plateau, not because I didn't give myself the time to exercise.
Knock it off, me. This time you're not getting away with it.