Thursday, August 04, 2011
Some times this journey is really hard.
A couple of weeks ago my oldest niece got married. On my weigh in day (just a couple of days before the big day) I discovered that I had lost a total of 30 lbs since February 2011. I was so excited! I couldn't believe that I was three quarters of the way to my goal of 40 lbs. It felt so great! One of my nephews who usually doesn't comment on facebook postings saw my post about losing 30 lbs and he took the time to send me a personal message telling me how proud he was of me. Wow, how awesome that made me feel. I was flying high.
Two weeks after the wedding, I step on the scale for my weekly weigh in and it wasn't good. I had regained 3 lbs. I was devastated. I felt like a failure. Like I had let myself and everyone else down. Now, I'm in a funk. I keep trying to tell myself that this is a minor set back, to get back on track and keep moving forward on this journey. But this weight gain has effected me in ways I never could have imagined. It feels like a HUGE set back. Everyday I struggle now to make the right choices - and I'll be honest - I haven't been making very good ones. Late night snacking is back in my life - honestly, its like a monkey on my back that I can't shake. I try to fight it, drink water to see if it will pass, but it doesn't work. I have insomnia again - most nights being up until 1:00 or later.
I weighed in this morning and saw that some how I have lost 1.5 lbs of the weight that I gained back. I am hoping that this will be the incentive I need to get back on track. Today I posted photos of myself on my page in an attempt to see how far I have come. Today I am making a conscious effort to get back on track and keep moving forward. At the start of this journey I made a goal of 40 lbs for myself. Today I make a new goal - to achieve this before my next birthday which is coming up in October. I know I can do it - Now, I just need to do it.