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One of those days

Thursday, August 04, 2011

I am currently at 174 with my weight which is the lowest I've been in about 4 years so I should be happy right? For some reason I just can't find it in me to be happy about being "less fat" It's the lightest I've been in a long time, I've moved down a pants size, I FEEL smaller but I'm not happy :( I'm still in the obese bmi category I still have a muffin top when I put my jeans on I still have 2 chins. Everytime I find a small victory to be happy about I find another reason to be unhappy. How much weight is it going to take before I feel good about my body? I'm a curvy girl I get that I'll never weigh 110 lbs I've got wide hips and a big chest and it's all compacted into a short 5'1" body I just don't know what I want from myself right now!

Another thing that's eating at me today is that the driving force for me behind losing the weight was to get ready for baby #2. I am just feeling very crabby about the fact that I am doing all this hard work just to get fat again! I know in my head that its for the best that I need to be healthy myself to give my baby the best start I know that being healthy and fit before will make it easier for me to lose the weight again after and I really really really can't wait for that baby but all that knowledge doesn't make me any less crabby right now

And as always I'm critical in my slow pace of losing when I see friends on the site have lost 20 lbs in a few months I get so jealous but I know (because I read lots of blogs lol) that they work hard for it they go to the gym and the push themselves working out and they just all around put more effort in and I know I could have those same results if I would just push myself a little more work out a little harder and even knowing this even craving their results and wanting to lose the weight so bad I don't do the extra work.

Today it seems I am just conflicted and determined to be unhappy *sigh* I suppose we all have these days I'm sure I'll be better tomorrow
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    These kinds of days just suck. And it always feels like a downward spiral. But you're doing so well! You may not feel like there have been any changes, but when you look day after day in the mirror you don't notice it. The big thing is that you FEEL better. You are doing the right things and it will get better.

    Try doing something you love doing that makes you happy today. And remember, tomorrow is a new day. emoticon
    2390 days ago
    Hey girl, sometimes it just gets exhausting doing all this hard work! And some people just don't even have to work to have nice bodies, even after having a baby! It's so not fair! But, we are all there with you in the other category. Take a load off and have some fun. emoticon
    2391 days ago
    I can completely relate! I'm the lowest I've been since HS (166), but feel just as overweight as ever. I'm also short (5'2"), and curvy. To be have a Healthy BMI, I need to shoot for under 140.. are you kidding me?! No thanks. My goal is mid-140s, I think that's perfect for me.. shoot, I'd be happy with mid 150s, too!

    I too am doing this primarily to get pregnant, and it is a little frustrating knowing that I'm doing this just to get fat again... But then I try to remember that by getting healthy and learning healthier habits now will make it that much easier for me to "bounce back" after... so I hope.

    Anyways, just wanted you to know that you're not alone with these feelings!
    2391 days ago
    I know everything you say makes sense the bmi is junk :) and I know its not about the numbers but pictures just make me cranky cause I never see progress in them I think I lost 16 lbs so far thats almost my daughter (she weighs 20lbs) so where is it coming off everything looks the same to me how do you lose an entire baby worth of fat and you cant tell?! I know I'm just to critical of myself though thanks for the comment it helps to know others have these days too :)
    2391 days ago
  • JOKR23

    Lol on those days, I wish I could just go back to bed, and try again tomorrow!

    You're doing so great - keep up working so hard, it IS paying off!! Look back at some past pics of yourself, and you can see the changes.

    Also - throw the BMI out the window for now. I'm also short (5'3) with an E-cup chest and wide hips. But I'm also strong and have a ton of muscle. The BMI calculations don't take things like that into account.

    It's hard to see people loosing so quickly though - if I loose 2lbs a month, I'm thrilled, and others are loosing 10 or more!

    Just remember: The numbers don't count - YOU are a size healthier, your life is healthier, and your kids are going to be learning all the good habits you're giving them.

    And when in doubt - an extra cup or 2 of coffee always helps me get through days like this =D
    2391 days ago
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