Thursday, August 04, 2011
My BMI is 26, one point away from a healthy BMI. It's still hard to believe that I had that much to lose. I've lost 116 pounds; that's way more than both our kids weigh put together! And I can barely lift our 5 yr old. 12 pounds and I am in a healthy range :)
Funny though, since I'm a numbers geek these things interest me; I like to see how things calculate out. But I honestly don't care that much about the weight. I'm just so relieved to be saner. Not to be compelled to eat constantly; not to be trapped in that obsession.
This program may seem excessive because I work pretty hard to get appropriate foods and portions: I don't eat spontaneously, I don't eat out, I bring my own food for most occasions so I can make sure I don't accidentally ingest something addictive, I weigh and measure almost everything. This is "normal eating"-- I eat healthy, appropriate portions. I'm not bound to the food or to an unhealthy body; this gives me so much freedom.
I can't even begin to describe how grateful I am to the creator for giving me a way out. I can even honestly say I'm grateful for the experiences that brought me to this point; if I hadn't gotten up to 308 pounds I might not have had the willingness that brought me to this point. I am also well aware that if I'm not vigilant, if I don't put my recovery first, I may never make it back again. And I would likely be one of the people who dies in the misery of this disease: of diabetes, heart disease or the like. Or I could weigh 900+ pounds.