Let me be honest and say that this is not the first time i tried to stick to something. I have struggled with commitment all my life (my oh so long 18 year old life) and have realized that what i really need is some self-control and determination.
I realize that a lot of you aren't as young as me and probably don't have the same problems i have, but i am thankful for any reply i get.

OK, so why am i a member of Sparkpeople.com?

Well, for starters, I'm not overweight. I have a healthy BMI and am determined to maintain it.

BUT

I suspect (i haven't actually been analyzed by professionals but can say this with a fair amount of certainty) that i have twice the amount of fat than i have muscle on my body. NO JOKE. I am the weakest person you'll ever meet. It's gotten to a pathetic point where i can't hold a pitcher of water without my arm shaking like crazy. I often need to steady it with my other hand to be able to pour.

I have also had mediocre endurance when it comes to running or jumping or any other physical activity throughout my life.

I'm not going to lie, i have victimized myself to the limit of anything remotely acceptable, i have probably even gone beyond that too, and that feeling of being inferior has really stuck itself to my mind.

My goal with getting in shape is to rid myself of that feeling. I no longer want to feel like these people i'm talking to right now are dying to get away from my unfit, awkward self. I don't want to ever again second guess myself about stupid issues such as if i am "worthy" of going out with THAT CROWD or THAT BOY.

HELL I'M WORTH THEM ALL. To put my intentions in a nutshell, i believe that others will value you as much as you value yourself. I don't really value myself right now, but want others to value me. Therefore the ultimate purpose of my journey is to learn that i CAN do it, once i set my mind to it.

I want to believe in me. And i'm gonna do as the saying commands; I'm gonna fake 'til i make it!


love k.