So Angry I'm Vibrating!
Wednesday, August 03, 2011
So here's the background information before I dive right into it:
I had signed up for pole dancing class in the middle of June. After registering I thought, maybe I should ask my two girl friends if they'd like to do it with me? It would be fun! So They both said ok but that meant cancelling the class I was already registered for and waiting 3 weeks to sign up for a level one that had more than 3 spots available. And so we did. I paid right away and waited 3 anticipating weeks so start!
WELL...the Monday on the week before our first class (on Thursdays) My first friend texts me and says she never paid, she's too broke and doesn't have time to do it. Fine, whatever, I was kind of expecting that from her. But then the WEDNESDAY before our class my other friend, I'm going to call her Bertha, tells me the paypal never went through on her card so she wasn't signed up for it and the class was full. (I call bullsh** by the way...parts of that story just don't add up) But FINE, WHATEVER, I was ready to do it by myself. Bertha however says she still wants to try it so she says she'll sign up for a different level one class. Ok, that works then we can take level two together. A week goes by, I ask if she's signed up yet she says no. Another week goes by, not even the slightest interest that she even wants to sign up still. Finally week 3 rolls around and she says she's found another friend to go with. How nice, I'm doing it alone but she can't even get through level one by herself so we could at least finish around the same time.
Oh now it gets better....So I'm like k, when are you starting? She say's the end of August because her friend can't do it until then. WTF?!?! So now I'm supposed to wait another month and a half (these are 6 week long classes) for her to not only start but then finish?!? I'm super pissed at this point. I want to start level 2 once I'm done not wait another month for her to probably bail...there's a high chance she'd just ditch out anyway. So I text her this morning saying I'm thinking of just going ahead with level two.
"Well fine go without me then"
"I don't want to wait a month and half. You waited so long until you found someone to go with and I've been doing it alone anyway"
"I repeat: do what you want"
Well that just go me LIVID!! Honestly, I think she's being a child and not very understanding at all. If she had just signed up and did level one by herself of course I'd wait, but no, she dicked around and expects me to just wait on her! I think it's selfish and rude. And excuse me for being a little selfish and doing it by myself. I'm not scared to try new things alone. I really want to text her back and tell to stop being a child. I'm just really pissed off. This is only one of the many incidences that she's backed out last minute, left me to do something by myself and then never following through, or making me wait on her. I'm so sick of it, she's a very negative person and sucks a lot of energy right out of me.
I would have cut her out of my life awhile ago but we've known each other for over 14 years. But she treats total strangers better than she does her friends. I don't know what to do here.. For once in her life I feel like she should step up and apologize because frankly her sh*t don't smell of roses. Ughhhh advice? Anyone?
Member Comments About This Blog Post
you're all so right!! Thank you everyone, you've put it all in perspective and I'm glad to see I'm not alone. Sucks that we've had to go through stuff like this, but such is life eh?
2298 days ago
I think in a situation like this, you have to just do you! You aren't afraid of doing something on your own, and that's huge! She obviously tries every way to get out of it and she's only stalling your progress. That's not fair to you. I've had this happen to me several times and missed out on good workouts because my friends would never show. Finally I've just decided to do it all on my own. It's great that you are doing this by yourself and that you don't need her.
2298 days ago
There are just some people you can't count on to be a good friend...I've recently come to that realization. My solution is if someone is bringing more negative to my life than good...then they can find their way out of my life. There's too many uncontrollable stresses in our life to voluntarily put up with it from someone who should be a friend. Doesn't mean you have to completely cut them out of your life...just move them to the non-important, can't count on category. This has left me a much happier, stress free person...ha this sounds so pessimistic of me now that I've read it over. maybe my life's philosophy isn't for all : )
2301 days ago
All I can think of is the word 'selfish'. If she was a real friend she wouldn't treat you like sh#$. I say make new friends in your classes that are actually decent people. I've wiped my life of a few friends that always flaked out of me this year and I just don't plain give a crap. I have made new friends that are more like me, and as IAMZBEE said, my life is 'toxic free'. Her loss, not yours.
2302 days ago
you did your part, invite them and waited, now it's time to move on because they are not reliable and will hold you back.
2302 days ago
Number of years is nothing when it's not a good friend. She's causing so much turmoil for you. I refer to these people as toxic friends... they just pull you down and turn you into someone you're not. I bet if you tried to just phase her out of your life, you'd be a lot less stressed and angry. Good luck!
2303 days ago
Here's some short and sweet advice: do what's best for you. You were kind to wait for your friend, but ultimately, you were ready to do the class without her (because it was something you wanted to do FOR YOU!)... If she is mad because you are not taking a class together - a class that you did your best to accommodate sharing with her - then that's a little silly. There could be something else underlying in this situation.
But back to my original message - concentrate on yourself first. If that means slowly and quietly backing off from a negative friend, then so be it. If it means confronting her and putting your feelings on the table, then go for it. But don't let anyone take the joy out of the things you want to do for you!!
2303 days ago
AHHHHHH - been there!
It sucks!! I totally would not wait for her at all! some people just can't be counted on! I have so many people in my life like this - and yes, I still keep them in my life, but know that they can't be counted on. I take everything with a grain of salt now when someone says they will join something with me. Cuz I too am not scared to do something alone!
Just let it go - people like this that bail on friends tend to get over things quickly when they realize people like us don't wait around for them.
Hang in there chickie, life's too short! karma is horrible and next time someone will bail on her!
2303 days ago
I wouldn't cut her out of your life, but honestly, even if the "friendship" has lasted 14 years, do you need this kind of thing? I would ask yourself what about her keeps you in the friendship. Is there anything that she does that is as a true friend? Is she there for you when you REALLY need someone to lean on, or is this what I call an aquaintance of convenience? If the latter, just slowly stop returning her calls and messages. See if she tries to reach out or just lets things drop. Then you'll know if it is worthwhile maintaining contact. If the first, let things cool off and then calmly explain how this was hurtful to you. If she is a true friend, she should apologize at that point.
2303 days ago
Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.