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MISSZ1
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New Swimsuit Photos (Ouch!)

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

I got my new swimsuit. Lands End Size 26. I love it. It is very comfortable.

But... it is a swimsuit.



Well since I was in a suit and feeling cocky I decided to get some "Start point" pictures. And to update my profile with something from this year.

August 3, 2011.


OUCHY. Now I like the suit and I think my face is pretty and I KNOW I will appreciate these photos because they will help motivate me and give me a reality check on what I look like but...

I had to pull the image. It was too painful.

I am not too happy. It was really hard not to suck in my gut etc. I didn't cry or anything and I feel pretty numb but this is not what I see when I look at myself in the mirror.

I see this:
I had to pull the image. It was too painful.

Nice face, pretty hair, pale skin, you know... not the fat. I know I am obese and I need to get the fat down but I am by the numbers fairly healthy. I have good blood pressure, I don't have diabetes, and so on and so forth. So when I see this it is confusing and upsetting.

My new associate Connie said the nicest thing when I first weighed in for weight watchers at 368 and was disconcerted by the number. I hadn't weighed myself in months and well it was higher than I expected. She said, "This is the last time you will see that bad number." She said it so fluidly and confidently that I was instantly reassured.

Well now I have to console myself. This is the last time I will take a picture of my body like this because I am going to change it for the better starting right NOW.

Because I am STRONG.
So Mote It Be.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • NGCHILD
    It takes courage to post any pictures .... it's a place to start. Just remember that. I LOVE your hair!! Super cute and gorgeous color.

    Stay strong!

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    1841 days ago
  • MOBAYGIRL
    Ah girl, you are so brave and amazing. This is an inspiration to us all. Good job on taking those photos...as you lose you will be so proud of yourself when you see where you have come from. Hugs girl, you are beautiful inside and out and don't ever let anyone tell you anything different.
    1880 days ago
  • MT-MOONCHASER
    Z - I applaud you for taking, and especially for posting these pictures. I hope they will be an incentive for you when you are stressed and want to slide back to pre-Spark habits.

    I have every faith that you will soon be seeing progress on this journey.

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    1881 days ago
  • KACYBEE15
    Before pictures are painful when you take them, but they will be treasure when you look back on them!! You're right, you do have a very lovely face, and I can tell by your blogs you have a lovely soul too. One of the best things I ever heard anyone say was "This is a point in your life. This is not your life". As long as you're still breathing, there's hope. And as long as you never give up, you can never fail.

    You can do this! I believe in you! Keep taking those steps in the right direction!

    ~ Kayli

    P.S. Your associate Connie sounds like a peach. If only we could all have someone so encouraging!!
    1882 days ago
  • CATREB
    well done for being so positive about this. i think you are a gorgeous lady. i love how you were told this is the last time you'll see this bad number, just remember that!

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    1882 days ago
  • HEALTHY14REAL
    You are a beautiful lady. I know the courage it took to take those photos and the pain you felt. You've taken a huge step.
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    1882 days ago
  • SMCHANDLER2011
    You're better off than so many people because you know where you are and you know where you're going, you're not defeated. And may I say that you are SO brave!! God bless you and I wish you nothing but the best in your journey!

    Stacey
    1882 days ago
  • LILLYPILLY24
    Connie sounds like a keeper. We need people around us who believe in us and believe we can do it.

    You are beautiful! :)

    Good for you taking the photos so you can see in the future just how far you've come. One day at a time, one choice at a time. You can do it!
    1882 days ago
  • LILLYPILLY24
    Connie sounds like a keeper. We need people around us who believe in us and believe we can do it.

    You do have a very pretty face indeed. :)

    Good for you taking the photos so you can see in the future just how far you've come. One day at a time, one choice at a time. You can do it!
    1882 days ago
  • WISHICOULDFLY
    Think of it this way. Right now there is someone out there that is striving to be where you are right now.

    It is a starting point for YOU right now--- for someone else it is a WOO! HOO! moment. I guess what I am trying to say is that it is all relative to where any of us are at the moment.

    You can take this where ever you want to go. Build on the positive. You are in good health, so you will be in AMAZING health. You are beautiful now, so you will be beautiful, but have more fun shopping as your size changes and more and more options become available to you.

    You are strong. You will become even stronger.

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    1882 days ago
  • JIBBIE49
    emoticon I've been reading a lot on Insulin Resistance/Metabolic Syndrome and how eating sugar/refined starches stimulates Insulin release and that stores the carbs as FAT. The book Bad Calories...Good Calories by Gary Traub has taught me that I have to change what I eat, since I crave carbs and it is a vicious cycle. I got the book at the library.

    Roby Mitchell, M.D. has a lot of good information on weight loss as he is DrFittt on YouTube. He says that when we are obese we most likely have low thyroid and we can benefit from Metformin for help with Insulin Resistance. He has a lot of helpful information. He is a medical doctor and he also has a PhD.
    1882 days ago
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