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    MISSZ1   12,043
SparkPoints
10,000-14,999 SparkPoints
 
 

I'm back.


Tuesday, August 02, 2011

I have never gone through quite so much to post a blog. First I couldn't figure out how to post to spark. I was looking in all the wrong places and I have completely forgotten how. Then my mouse and keyboard wouldn't work so I finally got that fixed. What was I going to say anyway?

Oh yes, I am back.

I was a driven Sparker and got down to 265 pounds from 330 (380 if you count the weight I lost before Spark) and then I got two jobs working full time at both. I did that for a year and then I took about 8 months to settle in to my new single job. (Not so new just a promotion.) And when I got on the scale WHAMMO... 368 pounds. SUCKS! But really to be honest I pretty much did everything wrong possible to make that happen and I have no idea why. I'm not depressed, or poor, or stupid. I might be sick, I have felt weak for months. I was very stressed and distressed by my new job however I'm still sleeping well which is awesome. The new job is comfortable now and I am ready to shake things up again. I am still taking my vitamins and drinking one healthy shake a day.

I'm pretty clear on what I did or rather didn't do to get here. I just stopped counting calories, steps, hours exercised, days, pounds lost and Spark Points. I don't know why. Well - I was working two jobs. I fully intended to go back to full on healthy when that was over, but I didn't because I didn't want to. I thought about it. I talked about it. Finally my boyfriend said, "You say you are going back to a healthy lifestyle, but when?" Now don't go thinking he is some kind of a bad man. He likes me fat or thin but he prefers me happy. I was proud and excited and delighted when I was losing weight and getting trim. And by the way I hear exercise is good for stress but I wouldn't know. I certainly didn't try that coping mechanism.

So here I am. I set the date for July 1 because I am not stressed out and I have only one job and the time has come to take care of myself again. But then that got pushed back to July 7th because I joined a work Weight Watcher's group. It has qualities but the truth is I wasn't ready. There is a saying, "Fake it till you make it." And so I faked it and I lost a whole 3 pounds my first three weeks. Whoot! NOT! I weigh over 350 pounds which means I can lose a heck of a lot more than 3 pounds a week and still be healthy. So after three weeks of non participation I finally updated my Spark main page. And today I started my food journal. And I am posting a blog.

I have a TON of things I need to do for myself.
Measure my arms, legs and neck.
Take before pictures.
Figure out an exercise routine that won't break my budget. (I know it is easy to exercise for free but I need something I LIKE to do. I need something I will get out of the house gladly to go do. )
Finish my reward list for micro goals.
Hammer out some long term food plans. I like to plan each month and change as I go.

I guess I am posting for three reasons.
1.) I'm really back. I left for a while and visited once every so often but I wasn't In it to Win it. I am now. I feel the Spark! I am MOTIVATED. And by what? Other Sparkers. I ran across a blog for a girl that was 357 pounds to start and she lost her first 100 www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
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MICHELLESMILES is my new SparkHero. (Sparkler?) In one month she lost 24 pounds. Looks like she did it on her own. I want to do that too. I remember how awesome that was. Well not 24 pounds in 1 month but you get the idea. I am ready. I am here. I am going to burn those calories and lose it again, and more.
2.) I love Spark People. I don't know why we go away from things that love and support us back but the fact that it is still here for me and still completely free makes me want to cry tears of joy. It is like an old friend that is taking my hand and talking to me in that way that only a good friend can after you haven't really seen them for almost two years. Thank you Sparkers and Spark People.
3.) To announce to myself on my very own spark blog that has motivated so many others and now I am reading for myself to remind myself how I lost it before:
Ahem...
I AM STRONG!
So Mote It Be!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KACYBEE15 8/3/2011 10:28AM

    This blog was absolutely AWESOME! I can so relate to you in that when I get stressed I definitely stop taking care of myself. I, also, seem to have not been able to grasp exercise as a stress reducing mechanism. For me it's always seemed to make me more stressed. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I always expect myself to commit to this rigorous program that doesn't allow me a break if I need it. It sounds like you're definitely at a good point in your life to really kick this thing's butt. We're all here rooting for you!

Keep us posted!! Looking forward to celebrating all your successes with you!

Best wishes!
~ Kayli

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JIBBIE49 8/3/2011 7:28AM

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MT-MOONCHASER 8/2/2011 10:01AM

    WooHoo!!!! It's good to see you back.

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