A Shred of Much Needed Light
Thursday, July 28, 2011
A couple of days ago I picked up my journal and wrote out all my frustrations with my lack of real effort...pretty much all my failures. I am notorious for creating challenges (100 day challenge, 12 week challenge, blah, blah) but not even completing a full day. I proceeded to make an attempt at moving forward and promising myself the next day would be totally on-track... Fail.
Yesterday I was so down with myself about it. I was trying to analyze (as I know we all do) why, why, why do I do this to myself? Why can't I even go one freaking day without messing it up? Why do I have to keep changing my start weight because the scale keeps going up and not down? Ugh...it was depressing.
But then my spirits lifted a bit - a little light (or spark, ha, ha) in the dark clouds that were over me yesterday. I filled up a baggie with crushed ice and started icing my shins - oh, yay, right? Shin splints in only the 2nd week of C25K (I was running 4 miles back in February before an injury). But then I realized I was secretly a little happy or proud maybe, that I NEEDED to ice my shins. I have actually been working out with CONSISTENCY this week! Three days in a row and today will be four. It's something, and I REALLY need something right now to keep me positive and to keep me TRYING. I won't give up. Maybe today will be the day when I get my food act together.