Wednesday, July 27, 2011
I have had enough and I will not take anymore. I am tried of being tired, weak breathing bad. I am DONE WITH IT. I know how this gal has pulled herself out of bad times before and I can do it again. I do not like being out of control and that is what I am now. My body is losing its strength that I work so hard too build. I can't hardly get out of bed and when I do I eat do a few thing and am so tired I have to go back to bed. It isn't just sitting and relaxing, it is bone tried where the brain doesn't want to function and that is not the way I am. I get up eat breakfast and don't stop till 1 or 2 AM. I love my life because I go and come do whatever I want. That all has been taken away from me and I don't like it one little bit. I look worn out and terrible. I have aged in my looks and I sure don't like that.
So exercises, walking and everything I did yesterday I can't do today. I didn't get in the pool because I was just too weak and breathing bad. Tomorrow I have to get the blood test and my daughter wants me too go to DGD's school for the last day program. I am going to try and get it done and after pick up her bathing suit and then get the blood test. I have to go to a couple of places and then home for lunch. I hope I can do it. We don't have to bowl this week and this is good and I hope it will be good next week.
Good weather right now and it is nice to have cooler temps. Hope it stays this way for a few weeks. I have ranted and raged so now I will work out a plan and get things done. Use to drive my husband nuts when I first started with leukemia and every body said it was in my head. There where times I would be down for days, not enough energy to do anything. I didn't eat did nothing except stay in bed. He would get so upset and I couldn't do anything about it. I would pull myself up eat some toast and tea and start from there. Call the Dr. and told him I was not good but it wasn't till I sent my blood test to my sister in Florida and she showed her oncologist that he said I had Leukemia and needed to get to a Dr. That started my life of taking care of myself and fighting other times for my life which started in 1994.
It is that time and I need to get my grapes for my snack with 1/2 an orange. I had strawberries from my garden in my cereal today. Love my fruit and veggies and eat 7 to 9 a day. Mentally I am okay , just have to get a handle on this mess.
All have a great Thursday and have fun, stay healthy. God bless you richly in his grace.
Catch you tomorrow and tell you about DGD.