Wearing Someone Else's Clothes, and Nerves
Monday, July 25, 2011
I am about 25-30 pounds down from where I was last summer. I"m not a clotheshorse at all, but I like to look pretty when I can. I have some favorite tops from last year, and I keep wearing them. Suddenly, as I adjusted the wide neckline for the thousandth time, I realized: It's too big. It has a deep, wide neckline, and I keep having to sort of toss the shoulders back so I don't show my bra in front.
It is probably 2-3 sizes too big. All the new clothes I bought for THIS summer are also too big. I never ever buy anything that actually touches my belly (if I get a tank top, I make sure that it doesn't hug my belly at all). Even the white linen capris I bought (that have elastic in the back) are sagging ridiculously. I can't keep my keys or phone in the pockets or they will just fall off. Funny thing? I just bought all these clothes in June. They were big when I bought them and I didn't even realize it.
I am wearing someone else's clothes! My old self. Before I cared enough to eat well and exercise.
When will I feel comfortable enough in my own skin to buy things that fit? Soon? I hope so.
I need to get back on the Wii and weigh myself. I did well last time -- down a couple pounds. I don't think I've gone up, but I do hate surprises if they aren't good, you know? And that murtherfarkin' little person on Wii always says, "Oh!' like it is so surprised that I'm so heavy. I want to kick that little thing. And it says, "Measuring, measuring, measuring...." Ug. I am afraid of a fictional person. How sad is that?