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    DYA177   52,275
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50,000-59,999 SparkPoints
 
 
JUST LIVING, no scales, no measuring,

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Hi Spark friends.
What I like about this site is the no judgmental attitude of my spark friends and even strangers.
since my last blog, I have been trying to get back into the swings of things. My miscarriage I gained close to 30 pounds. I'm sure it was all water since they were twins. It's been seven weeks.
I've taken it slow. During these weeks,
- I've regained my love for exercise.
- I've have (almost) stopped my love affair with Coke soda.. I've switched it up to Diet Coke. In two weeks, I will completely stop.

What I have NOT done is weigh myself. Nor have I fully tracked all my calories. I'm not ready. I'm going to be completely honest with you. I'm not going to give you any excuses. It's not that I don't have the time ( I do. I have the Spark APP on my phone), it's not that I don't know what I'm eating ( oh yeah I do, and ENJOY IT), and it's not that I'm thinking the scale is wrong( it's not wrong, completely on Point!)

It's none of the above. I know full well what I'm doing, eating, and experiencing when it comes to my weight loss journey. And guess what, I'm totally owning it. I understand my body, my emotions, my doubts, my self confidence, or lack thereof.

And I'm working on it. I'm not blaming it on the miscarriage, the weather, my kids, my partner, my stupid landlord, my stupid coworkers.

It's ALL ME.

And I forgive myself every night and every day I change a small thing, not everything, and I give myself a hand for changing it. Saying no to that cookie, choosing water instead of soda. Leaving some food on the plate.

It's going to take a lifetime to change things and I'm ready for it.
,
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCHENPOSSIBLE 7/31/2011 8:14PM

    Any change, regardless of how big or small, counts. Whatever you have to do to find peace and balance is still to be commended. So i'm giving you a hand too! Hang in there, friend!

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AVRENIM1 7/27/2011 4:01PM

    It is difficult but it can be done. Changing our way of doing things when it comes to eating right and exercising. It's like you wrote "lifetime". The key is to never give up. Sorry about your loses, I lost three before my five live births. emoticon

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MAY1787 7/24/2011 3:00AM

    I'm sorry for your miscarriage, and I hope you know you can talk about it with people on here. Sometimes we need time to not track or worry or micromanage, we just need time to live and I think this is an important time for you to just live. It sounds like you aren't going overboard with it and you still have some common sense about your lifestyle.
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ME_HERE_NOW 7/23/2011 10:00PM

    girl, this is an amazing post, with eyes open and honesty you will get to where you want to be! you are doing it right, building yourself back up with no pressure, getting back on track. keep doing those little things you can to take care of yourself and keep heading towards your goals....you are not alone on this slippery slope, that is for sure. i notice a lot of us have gained and are trying to cut back & get back on track, due to various reasons, so you are in good company as we all forge ahead. my thoughts are with you often my friend!

Comment edited on: 7/23/2011 11:35:53 PM

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1STATEOFDENIAL 7/23/2011 9:29PM

    That sucks about your miscarriage. It is a sad loss and you need your time to grieve - there's no time limit and no rules about falling back to it.

That said, along with everything else it seems you're dealing with, you have every reason to not do everything exactly right. The fact you're not blaming and owning what you're doing shows that you have no misconceptions and you are doing what you need to do at this time to get through all the stress. You're also smart for forgiving yourself and making positive changes - even if they're small - every day. Doing it all at once is incredibly difficult and stressful, so good job with sticking to the small changes and going slow.

Best wishes to you and I think things will get better for you soon.
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