I'm tired of being held hostage!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Okay... I'm tired of being held hostage.

So many things in our lives hold us hostage. Many of the things that hold us hostage are not under our control... family, stuff at the job, taxes; but other stuff we can control and that is how we handle all that other stuff within ourselves.

Here's the reason for my vent.

Six years ago, my husband and I made the decision to move my maternal grandmother in with our family to keep her out of a nursing home. So almost a year later, we found a house we hoped we could afford and signed the purchase agreement. We put a For Sale sign in the yard of our little 2 br home. We had promises from family and friends that they'd help as much as they could. So nearly five years after moving gran in with us, apparently none of them has been able to help. We still have the little house (so 2 mortgages). We had a bad storm come through and tear up our roof and rip apart our shed. The insurance paid, but we decided to go with a metal roof (less maintenance and hopefully no more leaks... which we dealt with for 3 months because of newly loosened shingles before we could get the roof replaced.) Since then, we have closed our savings account, 2 certificates of deposit, my husband's 401K, and cashed out his whole life policy. We've even borrowed thousands from my sister... who doesn't let us forget it. And do you think that she's offered to watch gran for a few days so my family can take a vacation? Think again. We haven't had a vacation since a year before she moved in with us.

Anyway... when it is directed at me, I can almost deal..... BUT DO NOT INVOLVE MY KIDS!!!!!

She told them two months ago that when the little one turns 8 she will take them to Disney in Florida. Since her birthday is in September, she will be almost 9 when that time comes (in over 2 years). Since then, whenever my girls have done anything she doesn't like (even if it is something she'd let her boys get away with) she says, "I won't take you to Disney if you don't stop that." Over and Over and Over and Over.... enough already. My little one was cracking some pecans at her house tonight after my nephew's birthday party. She let into her about not using the nutcracker and not cracking nuts and not eating them (though she couldn't prove that my daughter was the one who left the cracked nuts in the bowl a few weeks ago... just guilty by association). So, I let into her. I told her that enough is enough. I was tired of her holding Disney over my kids' heads. Then she started yelling that if she is going to be using her money to take my kids to Disney that she has the right to tell my kids what they can and cannot do. I told her my kids were my department and she could keep her money. We left.

I mean, come on! When she and her husband were down and out and both my husband and I were working full time, we loaned her so much money I couldn't keep track. I watched her kids for YEARS expecting nothing in return. I was being a sister. Her, I don't know what she was being but her overbearing, better-than-thou self!
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Some people feel that thee should be one person to dominate a family. evedentaly your sister feels that she should be in charge. But when it comes to real responsibility your left with the grandma. You and your DH truly have kind hearts and my prayers are for you and your family.
    2386 days ago
    My Dear Friend,
    I understand your frustrations. People never see what hurtful things they do, to their families in time of need.
    God tells us to love one another and never to worship money which many do today. My thoughts and prayers are with you my friend.

    "For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows."1 Timothy 6:10
    2424 days ago
    Prayers for your family. I know you are in a very stressful situation.

    2430 days ago
    So sorry for this conflict. I wonder what her frustration is? ((((hugs)))) Hope you work through this soon.
    2430 days ago
    Praying for you. I hope you are doing well today. I know that sisters can get you down. God bless you for what you are doing for your Grandmother. Hang in there. We did that with Danny's mother and his brother and and sister-in-law helped. I don't think either of us could have done it alone. So I am praying a really big pray for you today.
    In Christian love,
    2430 days ago
    God Bless You. It sounds like your plate is fuller than MINE! Hang in there.
    2430 days ago
  • DEE107
    oh my see you have it just as bad as I do ..hugs my friend been there and done that routine with them tooo .. leave the kids out of it ..hugs I dont know if you are Catholic but we bury ST JOSEPH upside down facing the street to sell houses .... good luck my friend
    2430 days ago
    (((Great-big, family/economy-sized hugs))) I'm so sorry you have to deal with all that. Families can cause more heartache than anyone we know, and it shouldn't be that way.

    Praying for you, my friend. emoticon
    2430 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.