Saturday, July 23, 2011
Okay... I'm tired of being held hostage.
So many things in our lives hold us hostage. Many of the things that hold us hostage are not under our control... family, stuff at the job, taxes; but other stuff we can control and that is how we handle all that other stuff within ourselves.
Here's the reason for my vent.
Six years ago, my husband and I made the decision to move my maternal grandmother in with our family to keep her out of a nursing home. So almost a year later, we found a house we hoped we could afford and signed the purchase agreement. We put a For Sale sign in the yard of our little 2 br home. We had promises from family and friends that they'd help as much as they could. So nearly five years after moving gran in with us, apparently none of them has been able to help. We still have the little house (so 2 mortgages). We had a bad storm come through and tear up our roof and rip apart our shed. The insurance paid, but we decided to go with a metal roof (less maintenance and hopefully no more leaks... which we dealt with for 3 months because of newly loosened shingles before we could get the roof replaced.) Since then, we have closed our savings account, 2 certificates of deposit, my husband's 401K, and cashed out his whole life policy. We've even borrowed thousands from my sister... who doesn't let us forget it. And do you think that she's offered to watch gran for a few days so my family can take a vacation? Think again. We haven't had a vacation since a year before she moved in with us.
Anyway... when it is directed at me, I can almost deal..... BUT DO NOT INVOLVE MY KIDS!!!!!
She told them two months ago that when the little one turns 8 she will take them to Disney in Florida. Since her birthday is in September, she will be almost 9 when that time comes (in over 2 years). Since then, whenever my girls have done anything she doesn't like (even if it is something she'd let her boys get away with) she says, "I won't take you to Disney if you don't stop that." Over and Over and Over and Over.... enough already. My little one was cracking some pecans at her house tonight after my nephew's birthday party. She let into her about not using the nutcracker and not cracking nuts and not eating them (though she couldn't prove that my daughter was the one who left the cracked nuts in the bowl a few weeks ago... just guilty by association). So, I let into her. I told her that enough is enough. I was tired of her holding Disney over my kids' heads. Then she started yelling that if she is going to be using her money to take my kids to Disney that she has the right to tell my kids what they can and cannot do. I told her my kids were my department and she could keep her money. We left.
I mean, come on! When she and her husband were down and out and both my husband and I were working full time, we loaned her so much money I couldn't keep track. I watched her kids for YEARS expecting nothing in return. I was being a sister. Her, I don't know what she was being but her overbearing, better-than-thou self!