Feeling totally derailed.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Yesterday I binged. First binge I have had in over three months. I am still amazed that I was able to go that long, but I am so disappointed in myself because I was totally conscious of what I was doing while I ate and ate and ate. :( I was actually able to stop myself twice...but both times, something set me off again and I just ate again...This went off and on for nearly 24 hours.
Now that I have that out of the way, it's time to figure out why I did it, so that I can learn from it, and hopefully stop it from happening again anytime soon, since I am already struggling with myself today...
1) The other half has been working graveyard shifts...this has not been good for me. My own sleeping hours have been affected, and I am feeling really really lonely. I have not had any time for my relationship and have not spent much time with anyone else either, except my son (and he is totally summer vacation bored).
2) Cheese. Cheese is my enemy. I was doing really really well with it until a few weeks ago, I found some low fat pre-shredded cheese at my grocery store. Bad idea. Now, instead of being in my freezer and away from my craving eyes, it is right there, ready and waiting, every time I want cheese. Which is always! I HATE that I love cheese.
3) Chocolate. Similarly to cheese, somewhat of an issue. Chocolate in in no form should be in my house. Not that I shouldn't treat myself to it from time to time. But only in the single serving, once in a while sense, not in the buy a big bar of dark chocolate and make it last a while, or buy a box of chocolate pudding for this weeks snacks sense. C'mon...I know I know better than that!
4) Planning. I have stopped planning meals in the last couple of weeks. This is a really bad thing for me. I know that I have to plan. I have to do that for my health and I have to do it to survive financially. So why have I stopped? Hmm...laziness probably.
I know there is more to it...but I just can't face anymore today.
Here's hoping I stay on track.