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Degrees of Blonde

Friday, July 22, 2011

FIRST DEGREE

A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment,
and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?'
The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting
to know if the coast is clear...'

SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street.. One notices a
compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.
She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks
familiar.'
The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'
So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'

THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out
and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when
she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry.. She opens her purse to take out the
gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun
and puts it to her head..
The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'

FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly
says, 'Go ahead, ask me.. I know 'em all.'
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy. Its W.'

FIFTH DEGREE
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A: 'Is it mine?'

SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US
Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade
was about.
Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision
George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware ..'

SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported
the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9
unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde
ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then
sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come
home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and
what do they do? They send me a BLIND COP!'

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBBIEDAY 7/23/2011 10:22AM

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CHRYS13 7/23/2011 10:21AM

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REJ7777 7/23/2011 6:44AM

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WIGIME 7/23/2011 3:49AM

    Nice, you made me smile with these.

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TIPYRAIN 7/23/2011 3:44AM

    VERY FUNNY! I'm a natural platinum blonde! I have always found them hilarious! You ever heard this one? A red head tells her blonde sister she slept with a Brazilian. The blonde say, OMG! You slut! How many is a Brazilian?

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AKELAZ 7/23/2011 2:36AM

    Found this early this morning - thanks for the first smiles of my day

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ERTSMOM 7/22/2011 10:42PM

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PATRICIAANN46 7/22/2011 10:29PM

  Oh my.............makes me want to dye my hair a darker shade!!! emoticon

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SENATOR9 7/22/2011 9:54PM

    Made my day emoticon emoticon

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 7/22/2011 7:14PM

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JOYINKY 7/22/2011 5:27PM

    Smiles! Thanks!

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ANIHAKA 7/22/2011 5:01PM

    Made my day cheered me up!


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LUCKIEST24 7/22/2011 4:28PM

    Good ones, Caz!!!

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ELAINESHAFF 7/22/2011 4:25PM

    Good ones!!! emoticon

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OLDERDANDRT 7/22/2011 4:07PM

    emoticon but that last one's a real hoot!!!!!

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ANNEMAC5 7/22/2011 4:05PM

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