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    SUSIEMT   190,131
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I saw my little girl self at the lake tonight!

Friday, July 22, 2011

I felt shame and anger! I wanted to cry for her. I looked over at the picnic table to see who her "fat" parents were. Nobody at those tables looked like they had a weight problem. Then why oh why was she at least 50-60 lbs over weight! The kid wasn't stuffing her face. When she wasn't in the water she was out on the beach running around having fun.
When I was a kid I followed my father's example when it came to eating. When he didn't want to deal with his feelings he would eat. I can see that today. Many times I have blamed my mother for my condition. All she wanted was not to have a fat daughter. She preached the right things. "Moderation" "Exercise" She also led by example.
She wasn't able to show or give love. Today I understand that as well. I have been watching "Finding Sarah" an OWN TV program. My sister was getting frustrated by Sarah's actions or maybe lack of them. She couldn't understand why the woman couldn't make some perfectly easy decisions or understand what these experts were telling her. I told Becky that Sarah has to be taught these simple things because no one taught her as she was growing up. It may seem normal to lots of people but if you have never experienced these things or were taught not to show certain things like emotions etc. you have to start somewhere.

I have been learning here on Spark how to deal with my emotions the proper way. Again, Thank you Sparkpeople.com!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SASSYTHING52 6/15/2012 11:28PM

    loved the show its sad to see children over weight

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RAINBOWMF 12/5/2011 9:52AM

    I have not seen that show, sounds interesting.

Great blog.
Mary

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SWELL10 8/5/2011 4:48PM

    Loved that show. It really spoke to me and I could see myself in her in so many ways.

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MOONBIRD 8/5/2011 4:34PM

    It makes me so sad when I overweight kids, especially ones who are really big. :( I know that was me at one point, and my parents were both overweight, but at the same time scolded me for being fat. I used food like a friend.

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1CRAZYDOG 7/22/2011 8:59AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon This blog made me cry! I am glad for you that you are so self-aware with the help of Spark People. I just can't say enough for how it has helped me, too!

Best of luck on our continued journies towards healthy and happy living!

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MIRAGE727 7/22/2011 8:33AM

    Now we have that awareness because we learn on SparkPeople, we are more sensitive to what we see around us. It is sad because we want to reach out. I know what you mean. I had a similar experience on the beach. I think it's wonderful that we become more in touch with our emotions as well. These are the by products of educating ourselves.here. It's a good thing. I feel your blog and thanks for sharing. Be well.

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WCUNNINGHAM3 7/22/2011 12:16AM

    Good job working and examining the emotion strongholds that underly our eating challenges.

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