Denial... more than a Big River
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I have lost a lot of weight (Yay me) and I have struggled for a LONGGGG time for the remaining 30-50 pounds I "should" loose... and I haven't be able to figure out why.
I think the why has been answered. It came to me... in the shower. I leaned back to rinse my hair and I could feel the muscles in my abs contract from all of my Pilates classes. I think "good stretch" and I visualize my flat-ish stomach.
Here is the kicker... I don't have a flat stomach. Or even a flat-ish one... I have a strong core covered in excess weight. My denial is that I forget that I still have weight to lose. Often. That denial lets me eat off my lifestyle plan... because I worked out HARD! And it Shows!! But it doesn't.... I have work to do still... I have weight to lose. I am still surprised at seeing a reflection (must be a bad angle) and photographs... (wow, bad photo... I don't really look like that.) Or do I?
So now that I know the why... what about the how? How do I get back the Honeymoon? How do I stop self sabotaging and stop allowing others to sabotage me? (You look great! You don't need to lose any more!!) I need to find some honesty with myself and with my family & friends...