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Denial... more than a Big River

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I have lost a lot of weight (Yay me) and I have struggled for a LONGGGG time for the remaining 30-50 pounds I "should" loose... and I haven't be able to figure out why.

I think the why has been answered. It came to me... in the shower. I leaned back to rinse my hair and I could feel the muscles in my abs contract from all of my Pilates classes. I think "good stretch" and I visualize my flat-ish stomach.

Here is the kicker... I don't have a flat stomach. Or even a flat-ish one... I have a strong core covered in excess weight. My denial is that I forget that I still have weight to lose. Often. That denial lets me eat off my lifestyle plan... because I worked out HARD! And it Shows!! But it doesn't.... I have work to do still... I have weight to lose. I am still surprised at seeing a reflection (must be a bad angle) and photographs... (wow, bad photo... I don't really look like that.) Or do I?

So now that I know the why... what about the how? How do I get back the Honeymoon? How do I stop self sabotaging and stop allowing others to sabotage me? (You look great! You don't need to lose any more!!) I need to find some honesty with myself and with my family & friends...

Never TapOut.


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
BUTEAFULL 7/21/2011 2:09PM

    aerobics will take care of the belly flab that is the stubbornist flab to get rid of, that's why I started jogging to diminish mine, not gone but smaller now

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DEBBAK710 7/20/2011 5:55PM

    I completely understand. I'm a self-saboteur (sp?) myself and I can't stand it. I say to myself, "You can't/shouldn't eat that" and yet I do it anyway. I have lost & gained, lost & gained so many times. I need to learn to listen to my mind and my body more. Tell my mind to shut the hell up, and to my body when it says, "you're full." I look at myself sometimes and can't believe that what the scale says is accurate. I can't possibly weigh 227lbs, it just can't be! I don't look like someone who weighs that much, but I am, and I have to face it and do something about it. Thanks for letting me know that I'm not the only one! :)

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