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10,000-14,999 SparkPoints 11,435

Baby Brownies Cause Major Backlash!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I reviewed my food log from yesterday - breakfast 240; lunch 300; dinner 400; snacks 1600 whoa- WHAT???

I knew I was going to a relatives home for dinner and tried to plan accordingly all day. Something happens to me when I walk in that home. It is a very small comfortable home filled with oversized comfy furniture. I know where all the goodies are kept. And have a habit of opening the refridg door for no reason other than to take a quick inventory. Even if I dont allow myself in the kitchen, its so small that I can see from every chair in the house, what goodies are available on the breakfast bar - and there are always goodies on the breakfast bar.

This is a loving but very dangerous home for me.

Despite my repeated requests to not leave snacks and junk food on the breakfast bar, that is exactly where they are.

At one point after dinner I moved over to the couch (to get away from the table) and while I was talking about moving stresses, I watched the host quietly cut up another couple of brownie squares and then cut those in halves.

They walked the plate over to where I was sitting. It was a very pretty way to display 2 more brownies, now neatly cut up into 8 smaller bite size "baby brownies" if you will.

They looked adorable! How much harm can be in a "baby brownie" afterall...

I unconvincingly said (even to myself) "please dont put those by me." as I calculated the distance from me to the plate and thinking a cup of milk would be perfect.

As I continued to talk about work and mortgage stresses while watching the clock to go to an evening meeting that I really didnt want to go when I felt a wonderfully comforting sensation in my mouth. HMMMMM chocolate.

"There now," I heard the cells of my body say, "that wasnt so bad, was it"
It was just a baby quarter of a brownie afterall. I felt calmer. Pop! There goes another one for good measure. Ah, bliss.

Before I knew it, I needed to leave for the meeting and noticed a now empty plate beside me. No crumbs or any evidence that baby brownies were once there.


I said outloud, "you can not bring food like this into my new home. Seriously, I ate all of them" I heard myself say it. I saw them nod in agreement but we both knew it was a farce.

I felt and feel so defeated.

Food has this crazy control over me and I let it. I can manage my intake all day, but put the tiniest- or baby brownie portion of temptation in front of me and I cave.

I need better support skills. I need to learn to support myself even when the best intentions of others do not.


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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hey! I remember that story! That would sum up my first 6 months on Spark... and that was AFTER 6 years of losing weight on my own.

    Food pushers are only effective when food addicts are around. I'm a food addict, and I've known that since my 20's. There's a difference between eating a couple brownies when hanging out with friends, and not realizing you've just plowed through a whole plateful of those little gooey gems. (See? Food addict reaction to something I can't handle.)

    Each person is different on how she will handle food pushers. Your plan started out good, by sitting away from the food. But I also know what you mean when you talk about "comfort home". My parents' house used to be like that, but now it's moved to my sister's house. It's the ONLY house that makes my stomach growl with perceived hunger -- and it's not hunger, because I always carefully plan my meals & snacks around when I arrive at her house. I know better. And it still amazes me how she can talk me into sharing a large bag of Tostitos and a jar of spinach dip. "It's healthy, though! The chips are whole wheat!" Uh-huh... and both the dip and chips are much too high in fat and sodium to even come close to being healthy... and then there's the "can't stop eating these!!" problem that happens within moments of the first bite. Having said all that, I did work through other food pusher households, and it took some time to get through to them. It took me 5 years to get it through Toddylicious's head that I canNOT eat just one slice of pizza when he makes a 12" in the oven. Serve something else, or I'm not coming over for supper.

    Make plans to revisit that home when there aren't going to be many people around, and see if the host/ess can work with you for better food choices. She can still be a food pusher, but wouldn't it be nice if she offered muffin-sized low-fat pre-measured cheesecake? And that there were only enough for 1 or 2 servings per person, and when they're gone they're gone?

    Don't stop trying. I know YOU CAN do this. *hugs*
    1893 days ago
    I totally feel your pain! I make it through the day very well and in the evening when my family is home and snacking, I cave. Sooooo disappointing and frustrating.
    This is a sneaky trick i've tried lately and it's been working. About an hour after my healthy dinner, I drink a glass of psyllium fiber. It's good for my system and keeps me full. It's much easier to pass on the snacks when you feel full.
    Love you post! Hang in there, you're doing great emoticon
    1893 days ago
    Oh my! I have so been here. I have gotten up and moved many times to get away from a tempting morsel. I'm sorry that this put a damper on your evening. I guess the only thing to do now is to make a game plan for the next visit. I'm cheering for you!

    1893 days ago
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