Tuesday, July 19, 2011
As I sat at the table late Sunday night, or perhaps early Monday morning; I was doing my homework when a sneaky little craving came over me. That craving was cunning and very clever. So I wasn't out done I ended my school research and began researching healthy late night early morning before bed snacks.
Well, between my food allergies and many food aversions; I decided on a slice of cheese only 70 calories. I felt good about my selection...until my stomach growled. Not the I just woke up and I have been conditioned to the idea of eating 30 minutes after the alarms sounds hunger. You know the mild one.
No, this was the hunger of I have been up all night and need some fuel; as I feel I haven't eaten in 10 hours kind of hunger. Again I pondered the options I had before me...Honey Bunches of Oats, crackers, or an English muffin. Of course, I went with a cherry turnover pop tart. The obvious choice...sigh.
I was upset with myself but satisfied. What was wrong with me? Was I incapable of making healthy food choices? Was that one splurge going to derail all of my efforts? Was I doomed and destined to remain a poor food choice maker?
I fought with myself over this for 24 hours. I worked out until I was sore, and I am still "feeling" the burn now. I have remained active and continue doing my workouts with rest breaks.
Finally, I woke up from the tragic diet coma. I realized that mistakes are okay, and eating 2 pop tarts with caloric wiggle room to move freely about the 100% whole wheat kitchen cabinets was an okay thing.
I wasn't destined or doomed. I learned it was okay to splurge. I also found that those pop tarts did nothing to thwart my workout routine, and I didn't crave as many sweets when I allowed myself a little treat.
So no I didn't beat myself up! I decided to continue building up my confidence.