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    KCATHY   10,567
10,000-14,999 SparkPoints

Eating right is spreading to doing other things right

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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

I've noticed that I'm getting more like who I was in high school lately. I don't mean that I'm anywhere near 120 pounds (I was actually too thin then anyway) but that I feel like I can do what I set my mind to.

Part of that is being single again. I don't want to get too Jerry Springer here, but I believe very strongly in marriage, and I hung in there well over a decade past when I could have left with a clean conscience.

I developed a terrible vision of myself, then, based on my longing to do things right and dozens, perhaps hundreds, of failed attempts to have a Godly, upstanding, successful family relationship with the outside world in partnership with someone who couldn't or wouldn't.

I absorbed the belief that I couldn't be righteous. I don't mean that in the religious sense, but in the sense of doing things the smart way, of being reliable, of paying bills on time, of being a supporter instead of a weight on others who love me.

Now that I'm in control again of my life and living alone with my kids, I've been repeatedly amazed to rediscover that I'm naturally an organized, capable person. It turns out I *can* keep a clean home when I'm not cleaning up after another adult in addition to the kids. I *can* pay my bills on time when I'm in charge of the budget and am blessed with a job. I *can* enjoy the fruits of doing things right.

I've still felt powerless about food, though, and vaguely guilty about not feeding the kids better. I knew genuinely diving into a better lifestyle would take a lot of energy and commitment. Once I was settled in my new job and home, I knew the time was right. Still, I couldn't seem to muster enough to keep going more than a couple of days after I started. I started over, and over, and over.

Joining SparkPeople finally gave me the support I've needed. I'm using almost exactly the same strategy (sticking to a calorie limit) that had repeatedly failed me, but it's working now. I know this might sound funny coming from someone at the very beginning of a 60-pound weight loss journey, but I already feel like a success because I'm DOING it. I've been on a roll for two weeks and don't feel tempted to slack off. I feel like I'm winning.

And the biggest surprise to me has been that I've been seeing other changes in my life. I'm becoming more goal-oriented and organized in everything from laundry to budgeting my spending money more cautiously.

Feeling capable of achieving my weight goal is giving me a confidence that carries over to other areas of my life. I'm slowly ridding myself of that negative image that took years to seep into my heart. It may not disappear overnight, but I'm obliterating it in tiny increments, with small daily achievements.

Cool, right? I feel so grateful to remember how it felt to be young and capable and proud of my approach to life!

Member Comments About This Blog Post:

  Great job, and continued success wishes coming your way.

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MERRYLIZA 11/26/2011 8:47AM

    congratulations! great inspiration! emoticon
Hope I can do the same. Organizing, health, etc. Keep up the good work.
Need to stop stressing at my job. Hopefully I will be able to do what you have done too.

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CEEWASH69 11/1/2011 4:43PM

  Wow!!! This is a very powerful and inspiring blog---made me stop and think about the person I am now, who I was and the person I am looking forward to becoming.

Continue to move forward!

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MSROZZIE 10/31/2011 9:40PM

    Keep trying, you are a success already in sharing your journey. Very inspiring. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DJHAR7 10/23/2011 11:26PM

    I hope things are still going well for you. Confidence is critical. You were born with everything you need to succeed. Keep it up!!!

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SWAN47 10/22/2011 3:42PM

    emoticon for moving forward in your life and learning about yourself. Life is a journey where we can move forward if we're willing to take the risk. Happy for you and wishing you the best in your journey! You have the tools and are using them... emoticon

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MZKAY25 10/15/2011 7:32AM

    amazing blog and i can relate thank you for sharing your thoughts :)

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CPILLS1970 9/29/2011 11:33AM

  What I really identified with from your post is that I also feel like a success after only 2 months, with 35 lbs. down and more than 100 lbs. left to go. I kind of feel like I've already won the battle since I know I can do this. I was a bit worried that I'd slack off since I feel trimphant already, but that hasn't happened at all--I just feel confident that I CAN DO THIS!! It sounds like you have the same attitude, too. Keep it up, emoticon , and emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/29/2011 11:34:32 AM

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CASAGRANDMA 9/26/2011 11:54PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CORINNEMOMMY 9/19/2011 2:28PM


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WHERERMY62KEYS 9/16/2011 1:46PM

  well done you should feel proud of yourself emoticon

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LOGOULD 9/15/2011 5:06PM

    You're doing GREAT - it took me months before I realized what a BIG impact Spark was having on ALL areas of my life...not just the food and the fitness. That's what is making this lifestyle program so awesome....enjoy the journey!

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AGAPEJOY 9/13/2011 3:24PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Isn't Life emoticon ?

emoticon emoticon

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MAYBER 9/6/2011 8:27PM

    Thanks for sharing your turn around feeling
You will achieve with the positive attitude
One day at a time
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JJEVERETT 8/26/2011 7:07AM

  Thank you for sharing.

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LIVIN4TOMORROW 8/25/2011 4:59PM

    YAY!!! That's such a great feeling knowing you CAN accomplish anything with determination and the right attitude!!! Keep up the great work!!! emoticon

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FITPT4LIFE 8/24/2011 4:35PM

    That's great. I hope that my weight loss will also spill over into other areas of my relationship, as a mother, and my household. Your blog was an inspiration for me. Keep your head high and keep up the good work emoticon

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LIVELYGIRL2 8/24/2011 10:55AM

  That is so wonderful! Way to Go!!! Also I find it inspiring that it is also influencing other area of your life. WOW emoticon

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RHONDAWI 8/24/2011 7:27AM

  Keep going in the right direction!! You can do it!!

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JENJAFER 8/22/2011 8:25PM

    Awesome!!! I know what you mean about staying in relationship too long & how it beats you down mentally....I, too, am taking back my life. Good luck to you! We can do it!!!! emoticon

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PJCRUISER02 8/20/2011 10:34PM

  Wishing you luck! Sounds like you are on your way! emoticon

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JBLAISDELL 8/20/2011 11:57AM

    Stick with it, it becomes second nature with time. emoticon

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FARMERGIRL63 8/20/2011 8:07AM

  Hey keep up the good work and the positive attitude.
You are doing really great!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JILL_CHEE 8/19/2011 7:52PM

    Thanks so much for sharing your inspirational story!

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JAYNEBK 8/19/2011 12:47PM

  Wow!! Way to go. I was in a similar relationship and should have left long before I did. Having a negative, pessimistic partner dragged me down, even though I am very independent and strong.
Now I am on my own with my son, and because of changes I made to be positive, thanks in part to Spark people, a change in eating, and exercising daily, I am happy. I also believe that these small changes led me to finding the incredible man that I am dating.
Keep going emoticon

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7WORSHIPS 8/19/2011 6:46AM

  emoticon Love your can do attitude.

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RLPARKER26 8/18/2011 1:13PM

    What a great attitude you have!! You should be very proud of yourself. emoticon

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CBOUSTEAD 8/18/2011 12:10PM

  Hang in there and don't give up. I have tried every diet known to man and my entire life have had swings of 30-40-50 lbs a year.Three years ago I lost 75 lbs and HAVE KEPT IT OFF! What's changed? I finally started eating to be healthy not skinny; exercising to be strong not thin.If you adopt this attitude you will never have to diet again. If I can do it ... anyone can!

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DEBBIEREE 8/17/2011 5:18PM

  Good for you!! What an inspiration you are and can be for myself and others!! So proud of you and for you!! WOOHOO!!

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REELMUM 8/17/2011 2:43PM

    Great post - fantastic attitude! and inspiring for others emoticon

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YVETTE4RX 8/17/2011 1:44AM

    I loved your post. I loved your spirit, so early in the game, it gives me the go ahead to be proud of myself. Thanks! emoticon

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KARLAJPOWELL 8/16/2011 2:31PM

    Thank you for this post. Keep up the good work.

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SLIM153 8/16/2011 12:35PM

    You REALLY sound POSITIVE and DETERMINED and you have great tools and resources here at the Spark. Keep on that road! You are great inspiration!!! emoticon

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47CANDYMOM 8/16/2011 10:23AM

    You Go Girl!

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ELLEKTRA 8/16/2011 6:03AM

    It really is an amazing feeling isnt it, wish I could bottle it up and sell it.
Congrats on getting there!

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THE_MBA_CHICK 8/16/2011 3:32AM

  Very encouraging and frank :) Thanks for sharing!

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JEWEL00 8/16/2011 3:21AM

  lovely post working mum. I have a husband that lives away and I do all myself too - I really relate to you. awesome stuff! emoticon

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SMILINGEYES88 8/15/2011 11:08PM

    Great post! Very motivating. I too have found that joining spark I have more will-power. And you ARE a success because you ARE doing it! Woohoo! emoticon

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MOMMAHIGGY 8/15/2011 10:18PM

    Isn't it wonderful what a confidence boost can do for your life? :)

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ONEDERLANDIN38 8/15/2011 8:00PM

    Keep up the hard work and the fantastic attitude! emoticon

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APRILAUTUMN1 8/15/2011 1:13PM

    Thank you for sharing so honestly. I too am noticing that the routine tasks i used to find tiresome and procrastinated on are actually more enjoyable now that i am paying attention to myself and my own goals. Good for you on DOING it! We are so worth it emoticon

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MONKEYMOM19 8/15/2011 12:07PM


Thank you so much for the motivation!!!

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FATBARRA 8/15/2011 11:53AM

  As per Skeeter13887 I have also noticed things seem easier when my husband is working away. Everything is organized good healthy food is bought etc. Do not know why.

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MAESTRACH 8/15/2011 10:02AM

    Woo hoo!!! Love to see light bulbs of realization. Keep on your journey!

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AWEYANT 8/15/2011 9:57AM

    Very cool!! :) emoticon

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HORTUSPAT1 8/15/2011 9:53AM

    Great post. I enjoyed reading it. Very motivating and inspiring. emoticon

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BLONDIE410 8/15/2011 9:46AM

    Enjoyed your post, I am determined to get my life in order too. I am an emotional eater, your post has helped me get the ball rolling again. Thank you! emoticon emoticon

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SKEETER13887 8/15/2011 8:38AM

    I love your observation that you re-discovered all the things you are capable of doing once you were alone with your kids. The other day I made the observation to my husband that when he was in the navy and deployed for months at a time, my house was cleaner, my routine more manageable, and the bills always paid on or before their due date. Since he retired I feel as though I am constantly playing catch-up and my organizational skills have deserted me. I don't want to ditch him after 31 years, but I would love to regain that sense of "self" and all the feelings that go with it!

Good job, great blog, and all the best for your future!

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SONIAG56 8/15/2011 7:26AM


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BRENDA2733 8/15/2011 6:32AM

    Great job! Awesome!

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Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.