Tuesday, July 19, 2011
I know I haven't blogged for a while and I haven't been doing everything I normally do on SP but this time its not because I have fallen off the wagon, in actual fact my food intake has been really good, maybe sometimes too little... But there is a reason for this, I met a man!
I have been single since May 2010 when the father of my kids and I split up. I was not looking for love, it found me. We met a while ago on a website that you can give things away for free and we just chatted for a while via mails and then via Facebook and then via texts and eventually via phone calls... We met a few weeks ago and there was just this huge current between us... I have never experienced anything like this and to be honest it scares me!!!!!
Him and his wife are separated and as of today will be living in separate houses... I am nervous as he is meeting my kids for the first time today (we are telling them we are just friends until they are used to the idea of seeing him around)
I do know that we need to be together to see where this leads but I am scared, its been over a year since I have had a relationship and the last time I entered a relationship I WAS NOT a mother. It scares me because of the strong feelings I have for him in such a short space of time, it scares me because I still ask myself how can he want me??????
I ate breakfast before I got a call from him asking if he could see me today and meet my kids. I am now feeling sick to my stomach, I am trying to prepare my kids, luckily they are very young so don't understand, I am petrified of entering another relationship and getting hurt...
I know this blog is all over the place but thats where I am right now, all over the place!