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This is harder

Monday, July 18, 2011

The decision to join SparkPeople back in January 2010 was easy. I wanted to lose weight. SP provided a method and had the success stories to back it up. Decision made! A little over a year later, I'd lost 40 pounds and I was getting ready for my first half marathon. I'd made a habit of eating healthy foods and exercising regularly. I remember shortly before my trip to WDW (and the half), my mom said, "Just make sure you don't put it back on after your trip. I did that when I lost all the weight before my ski trip back in 1977 and I've never gotten back down." Pff! As if that would happen to me- strong, dedicated Amazon that I am! I'm not going to quit running after the half and I'm not losing weight just for the trip. This is just part of my plan for the rest of my life.

Fast forward 4.5 months after my trip. I have not run regularly since March. My plan to run a 5K each month and work on improving my score was thwarted by a need to do some home repairs in June. Since I usually went to the gym for ST after running, I stopped lifting weights regularly in about mid-April. I've enjoyed a spring and early summer full of tasty food, good beer and some lovely wines. I ate pretty much whatever I wanted. I stopped tracking food altogether. I gained 13 pounds.

13 pounds. That's one pound for every mile I ran in the half marathon. My new clothes are getting tight. I don't have the energy I used to have. I worry about the scale and its upward direction. I'm not happy about any of this. I haven't been happy about it for months and I knew I had to do something. I got messages from Spark friends back in May and June that I knew I had to respond to, because they hit me right in the "I need to get back on track" spot.

But I didn't. And why? Because starting over is harder. Admitting that you are not the success you once were is harder. Writing the words, "I'm obese again," is infinitely harder.

It's harder. So what? It doesn't make it less true.

Anyway, I tracked everything I've eaten so far today and figured out what I'll have for dinner. I made some new goals. And now I'm going for a run. A short one, but still a run. I'm counting this as Day One version 2.0. I've had enough of the old one.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Dang Girl - get outta my head! Honestly this is MY story - except I did reach my goal of running a 5K each month - Jan-May and then.... nothing. We can do this. We are Freakin' Awesome - let's do it together.... READY?
    2436 days ago
  • POOHLA711
    First of all-- I'm SO glad you're back! emoticon

    Second-- I have started over more times than I could possibly count and it's ok. Because one of these times, it's going to stick and it's going to be forever.
    13 pounds is NOT 40! You have not lost all of your progress. Just a temporary set back.
    I hope you know that you can count on me for whatever you need to help get your mojo back.
    Welcome back, girl! Let's do this! emoticon
    2439 days ago
  • DRPOOH63
    Welcome back - you have been on my mind lately wondering what had happened to you. Glad to see you back. 13 lbs is tough but it is not 40.

    One day at a time.

    Also, I love running mate on Facebook and he does monthly virtual 5k - which is great because the price is right but I know it gives me a reason to run each month.

    2440 days ago
    It is hard. I have come back to spark many times. Good luck! You can do it.
    2440 days ago
  • CECE0330
    Yeah....I'm on like Version 15.2 and it *finally* seems to be working! emoticon
    2440 days ago
    "You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it." -Margaret Thatcher

    Just don't give up. Never, ever, EVER give up. Invest in yourself.
    2440 days ago
    Welcome Back to Day 1 Version 2.0 I am right with you on the ST
    2440 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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