This is harder
Monday, July 18, 2011
The decision to join SparkPeople back in January 2010 was easy. I wanted to lose weight. SP provided a method and had the success stories to back it up. Decision made! A little over a year later, I'd lost 40 pounds and I was getting ready for my first half marathon. I'd made a habit of eating healthy foods and exercising regularly. I remember shortly before my trip to WDW (and the half), my mom said, "Just make sure you don't put it back on after your trip. I did that when I lost all the weight before my ski trip back in 1977 and I've never gotten back down." Pff! As if that would happen to me- strong, dedicated Amazon that I am! I'm not going to quit running after the half and I'm not losing weight just for the trip. This is just part of my plan for the rest of my life.
Fast forward 4.5 months after my trip. I have not run regularly since March. My plan to run a 5K each month and work on improving my score was thwarted by a need to do some home repairs in June. Since I usually went to the gym for ST after running, I stopped lifting weights regularly in about mid-April. I've enjoyed a spring and early summer full of tasty food, good beer and some lovely wines. I ate pretty much whatever I wanted. I stopped tracking food altogether. I gained 13 pounds.
13 pounds. That's one pound for every mile I ran in the half marathon. My new clothes are getting tight. I don't have the energy I used to have. I worry about the scale and its upward direction. I'm not happy about any of this. I haven't been happy about it for months and I knew I had to do something. I got messages from Spark friends back in May and June that I knew I had to respond to, because they hit me right in the "I need to get back on track" spot.
But I didn't. And why? Because starting over is harder. Admitting that you are not the success you once were is harder. Writing the words, "I'm obese again," is infinitely harder.
It's harder. So what? It doesn't make it less true.
Anyway, I tracked everything I've eaten so far today and figured out what I'll have for dinner. I made some new goals. And now I'm going for a run. A short one, but still a run. I'm counting this as Day One version 2.0. I've had enough of the old one.