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Slippery Slopes of good intentions!

Monday, July 18, 2011

Alright so this is how it starts. I get distracted, maybe overwhelmed with things going on within my life, with life itself in some regards. How things aren't exactly how I planned them, how depsite best intentions I just don't feel I am measuring up.

And I start to slip. Just a bit at first, and it's totally innocent, or it appears that way. You know what I mean..I start to have two helpings of one of my favorite foods. I whisper to myself "Man you have been working so hard go ahead sleep in late today, you can catch that work out tomorrow." Then that mind set, along with "What does it matter if I do x,y or z, it isn't going to make r, s, t any better, or make a magical fairy come poop glitter on me!"

Now we are in a bit more then 'slip' on this slope. I look at this as I had this huge amount of weight to loss, to be healthier, being thinner, being more fit is an enrichment to my life, it isn't a magic fix, that is going to have that pooping glitter fairy sprinkle magic dust and undo things I have done, choices I have made, or any part of my past. So this mountain to personal enrichment I am climbing, to this healthier, more capable me, is that, a mountain and sometimes I need to rest on a ledge, and catch my breath, let all those small steps sink in. See how far I have come already.

This was more then just sitting on that ledge. I backtracked, because all those little things, all those sweet little lies I was happily letting myself believe started to wear at me. "Oh well, taking a week off is alright.." and for me, that week turned into a few, which has turned into a "Gods, I am going to be starting all over!" Did I backtrack completely? NO, so this isn't failure, it's a learning process, like most things in life.

More importantly, I wanted to share it because I think sometimes, we tend to think everything is black or white. Fail or pass. That we get on here and either we struggle struggle, or we WIN WIN! And that isn't the case. Sometimes we are just what we all are, which is learning new habits, and changing our lifes those small steps at a time, and in any change there are days where its just BAM I get THIS...

And there are times and periods where its "Ok, I want this, and even though I really am not FEELING like doing it, I am sticking it out, sucking it up, and pushing through."

So I can't say my Spark Fire is burning brightly. But what I can say is I have told myself enough. Got up, set my game plan, put on that 'game' face, and forced through my workout this morning. Planned my meals for the day. And set my goals. Don't worry, I will blog them for the public eye tomorrow.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I've missed you terribly. It surprises me how attached I could get to someone I've never met before. You are part of the reason I came back to SP. I enjoy your openly human style of writing and being in the world. We could all used more honesty in our lives. So...I'll be blogging and reading your blogs and sending you some goodies cause you deserve it. Glad I'm back. Glad you're still here. Much love, Nora.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2262 days ago
    Good for you making that first step again, it is a hard step. No one is perfect, but for some reason we think we can be after years of not being on our best game. I do this too and way to often I might add. The best cure is just what you are doing, getting right back up and doing what you know will get you the results you want.

    This is a hard ride my friend, but I am here with you and we can get through this together!


    2424 days ago
    emoticon to re-start your spark
    2430 days ago
    emoticon emoticon

    2430 days ago
    Three steps forward, two steps back STILL equals one step forward - you got this!
    2437 days ago
    I know how you feel. After all of my drama, I scooped out some icecream and I felt better and all week as crap blew up I aste to numb my pain. It was bad. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. Now I am here, not giving up on me and not gaining a pound because there are problems.
    2437 days ago
    Glad to see you back! It's absolutely not a pass/fail system, and by continuing to push forward, you're going to win. Good luck, and can't wait to see your goals!
    2438 days ago
  • THESB25
    I backtracked lately with my weight despite training for my's just the nature of the weightloss beast. You're right's never black and white..only move on, keep learning! Sometimes this mountain climbing is just tough!
    2438 days ago
    As you noted on my blog...I'm so there with you. It's hard but acknowledging it makes all the difference. emoticon
    2439 days ago
  • MARTY728
    I second HOLLYS-DOIN-IT's and BLAZINGPHOENIX's comments. They nailed it! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2439 days ago
    Glad to see you're back Mandy! I've been missing you. Don't ever let the spark go out completely, it's hard to get it going again. We all have slip ups, or as I call them "Oh crap!" It's going to be ok, because you have the tools to do it, just do it! Hang in there, and keep sparking!
    2439 days ago
    Hey don't be too hard on yourself - your Spark Fire is still burning so go ahead & stoke those flames...little changes mean a lot. I do understand though - I am battling the same slippery can be overwhelming. But as long as you don't give up - you'll get ahead!
    2439 days ago
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