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    RAJAHKITTY   51,856
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50,000-59,999 SparkPoints
 
 
Starting Over - Again.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Wow. I feel like all I do is reiterate the same blog over and over. I was on a good track, and now I'm not. I used to be within 10 lbs of my goal weight, and now I'm not. I used to be working out 5-6 days/week and now I'm not. I used to wear a bikini in certain place, and now I don't. I used to have things in my closet that were a size 6 that I could put on and now I can't. I used to be a solid size 8, and now I'm not. I used to monitor everything I ate and now I'm not. I used to have definition and now I don't.

It is frustrating.

And I think it is even more frustrating knowing that I WAS where I wanted to be just a few short years ago and now I know how far away i've gotten. I also know how much work it took and everything I had to monitor and control and give up and I just can't get myself back there.

I don't know how to kick my own a**.

I'm not happy like this. I'm not happy with all those "don't" statements. I feel horrible about myself which makes me not want to do things that I really enjoy. It stresses me out. And there are a lot of times in every month that I want to sit down and cry at what I've done to my body. And that makes me reach for the ice cream or the chips which happen to be my BIGGEST issues saying no to.

I'm hoping airing this will help me find myself again. Find my motivation and find the attitude that helped me do this the first time. And this time I have to keep searching until I find it - no detours.

But if anyone out there has read through this whole thing - I could really use some support. Right now, I don't know what that entails. I don't know what is going to help, but I know that I need to do something. I'd really like to be down 8 lbs by my birthday at the end of August. anyone???
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VALERIENEAL 7/21/2011 4:24PM

    Oh honey, not only have I been there, bought the t-shirt (blah blah blah) I set up camp and decorated it too. I've had to limit my Spark time lately due to gardening (2-3 hours out in the garden/yard in the am, and again for an hour at night) and then recovering from the heat and getting a work out in-ugh, I feel like a hamster on a wheel. Come in, track time (it makes sure I eat enough-the heat causes me to lose my appitite until dark, when I eat anything I can get my hands on) in the garden in cardio, rinse off, sweep floor for work out, work out, track that, eat, why bother. That's where I am right now. I did find something that is a 6 wk program, but I only do level 1 work outs (upper and lower) 4 times each, then I move up. I tried Jillian's thread, but stopped when I got to level 2, then had a back injury and have been afraid to try it, I may try again this fall.

I know I"m just rambling and probably not making much sense, I just want to mainly know you are not alone, and if you want 1 more nut on board with you let me know, I'll give you my FB info, and even a number to text me at and I'll text back. Okay, got to get back on the wheel and start putting away laundry so I can make dinner, so I can eat it, so I can water the garden so I can watch tv with hubby, so I can go to bed, so I can get up and do it all over again.

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RIQUI1 7/18/2011 9:07AM

    I WILL HELP YOU...in any form that I can!! 8 pounds shouldn't be too bad in that time frame. You let me know what you need... someone to check in with every day? I can do that. Need someone on Facebook for more contact? I can do that. Send me your cell number... I will text you 6-10x per day, to remind you of your goals! :)

Stop buying ice cream and chips until the end of August. Actually, have you tried Special K Cracker Chips? I LOVE the sea salt flavor. There are only 110 calories in 30 and they take care of that munch/crunch craving!

You don't need to feel alone. I have been right there too, as you know!! I have been within 5 pounds and blew it!! lol Who knows...you just work with what you have!

Talk to me! Tell me what you want... I'm there! :) I will help you stay true to your goals!

"Rather the pain of discipline, than the pain of regret."

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