Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.


    WATCHMECANCAN   18,840
SparkPoints
15,000-19,999 SparkPoints
 
 

Dear Fat, I want a divorce!


Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Friday, July 15, 2011

Dear Fat,
I want a divorce. I am taking the kids, Heart, Lungs and Bones with me.
We no longer need you in our lives. You have caused me too much embarrassment and cost me my sense of self-worth and confidence. Yes, there was a time when you comforted me and too, you helped to keep me warm in winter. You also gave me a good excuse for saying no to situations when I thought I might get hurt, but I have outgrown you.

Because of you, I have not had a vacation in quite a while. It is embarrassing to fly on a plane when you have to ask the flight attendant for an extension for the seat-belt. I used to love amusement parks but you complain too much about the seat being too small or the bar being too tight on the rides. (It is a shame that we have to carry a chair in the trunk of the car because you won't let us sit just anywhere.) You are slowing me down and holding me back. I can't even ride my horse anymore because of you.

As for the kids, the doctor says Heart is doing just fine for now but I am afraid if this relationship continues, she may suffer permanent damage. Lungs tries so hard to please you but I'm not sure how long he can keep up with your burden. You have really done a number on Bones though and I won't let you hurt him anymore. He cries all day and night from the pain you have caused him. Well not anymore! You have to go!

I realize, since you have been with us so long, that it will take you a while to pack up and leave. And since I doubt if you will find anyone that will take you in all at once so I am giving you 1 year to Clear Out! Don't worry, Me and the kids will help you move.

In the meantime, you will have to get your meals somewhere else because I will no longer be feeding you. Me and the kids will be eating healthy from now on and you are not invited.

You also better get used to doing some work if you insist on hanging around because the kids and me are going to start really living and having fun. You know all that complaining you've been doing with all the walking, swimming and grass mowing we've been doing lately? Well it's only going to get worse so get used to it!

Sorry it has to end this way but you brought it on yourself. I should have made the split a long time ago. So long and farewell.

SHARE

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
WATCHMECANCAN 10/5/2011 11:45AM

    Thank you all for your wonderful comments.

Just an update; Fat has moved about 1/3 of his junk out of my trunk as of today. (52 lbs worth of stuff to be exact!) As a result, I am feeling so much more confident. Me and the kids have a lot more energy and Bones is starting to recover. (Even though the therapy, at times, feels worse than the abuse. lol) There is light at the end of the tunnel and we are looking forward to the day we can kiss Fat goodbye once and for all.

I'm so glad I was able to share this story with all of you and it's wonderful to hear that so many of you found it helpful. Keep up the good work. Hopefully we can celebrate many divorce-aversaries together.

Comment edited on: 10/5/2011 11:48:34 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
1HAPPYSUSAN 9/3/2011 12:50PM

    Great blog!! Congratulations on taking the "big step" of divorcing your fat! You, my dear, are my hero!

Good luck and God bless you!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
COMPASS_ROSE 8/30/2011 9:39PM

    Hit the road FAT and don't you come back no more! Writing a letter is an excellent way to close one journey and begin another one! Congratulations and continue on down the path!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATTY267 8/13/2011 11:43PM

    I love your sense of humor ... laughter is such a healing quality. Thanks for making me smile on an exceptionally tough day.
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
L*I*T*A* 8/13/2011 8:46AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
AUNTFANNYJANE 8/12/2011 11:24PM

    I love this and here's one ex you can put behind you for good - you won't see him at a mutual friend's wedding or be forced to sit through a child's grad at his side. You get to say goodbye for good!
Great Blog! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JIVANA108 8/12/2011 3:26PM

    This made me smile...what a clever letter to blog. Best of luck on your journey.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JENNIFERHSRN 8/12/2011 1:11PM

    Loved it, you did great!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRAMMAP1 8/12/2011 12:48AM

    Put very well and quite thought provoking. I am with Patty and saying it struck close to home. I wish you well in your pursuit to divorcing fat! And I will keep trying also!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JLSPARKLES 8/11/2011 10:52PM

    Very humorous and very true! Love it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FEMMEFATALE120 8/11/2011 10:41PM

    awesome! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
RETURNOFSARAH 8/11/2011 12:14PM

    I love this emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SNOWSANDY 8/11/2011 7:27AM

    A emoticon Great letter. I definitely thing you will win in this divorce!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CANBDONE 8/10/2011 4:58PM

    I haven't flown in years due to having to ask for the seat extenders. It's not bad if they just give it to you when you get on...but sometimes they say they'll bring it back to you. One time I thought I would just fake it and not fasten the belt. The stewardess stopped and said, "Do you need a seatbelt extender?" I felt she was yelling it...the nice man next to me just kept reading his book...I died a million deaths!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NICOLELYNN1678 8/9/2011 7:28PM

  I love it!! Divorce and never see it again!! You go girl! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BADCHULO 8/9/2011 6:06PM

    What a great way of thinking of it !!
Fat can't say it didn't get a fair warning !! LOL...

Report Inappropriate Comment
MACMOM57 8/9/2011 7:06AM

    Awesome blog. Wishing you many blessing on this journey.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATTY267 8/9/2011 12:55AM

    What an imagination ... I loved it but, unfortunately, the reality of it was way too close for comfort. I am right there with you!
emoticon ... or should I say, "WE can do it!"

Report Inappropriate Comment
ZOOMTOWN04 8/8/2011 9:35PM

    TOO Cute..Tha's me all over!!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NICHIEROSE 8/8/2011 8:58PM

  HAHAHHAHA I love this! That is encouraging and humorous. Thanks for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
HKARLSSON 8/8/2011 6:23PM

    Great blog! I want a divorce from fat, too!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WILDFLOWERMA 8/8/2011 5:56PM

    Such a poignant post - I can really visualize "Fat" moving on & packing up. Keep up the great work!

Comment edited on: 8/8/2011 5:56:55 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
KEEKEE1ST 8/8/2011 1:25PM

    Awesome letter. You said exactly what I've been thinking for a very long time! Thanks

Report Inappropriate Comment
JENNIFERH1104 8/8/2011 11:18AM

    This is a great way to look at it! Way to go!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KNITNLADY 8/8/2011 9:52AM

    This is great. What a great way to look at it. Keep it up!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
VINTAGEMISS 8/8/2011 9:37AM

    Wow...just awesome!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MILLIE5522 8/8/2011 9:24AM

    Brilliant! Hope you get a new wardrobe once the divorce has gone through. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BETZYGIRL 8/8/2011 9:04AM

    Love it! This is emoticon So glad you shared this with us:)

Report Inappropriate Comment
GAILRUU 8/8/2011 8:55AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
-POOKIE- 8/8/2011 8:03AM

    emoticon great blog!

Report Inappropriate Comment
POOH_BEAR_69 8/8/2011 6:05AM

    Thank you for sharing... So well written. The sentiment is 100% accurate... I hope everyone takes such good care of their "kids" as it were. Good for you for making the best choice for your future. I hope others can follow your lead and show their own strength!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
EARTHMOM56 8/8/2011 5:49AM

    Wow! I'm going to ask for a amicable divorce from my extra weight.

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOHUSKERS2 8/8/2011 5:38AM

    Wish I done this a long time ago. Great Blog!!! Good for you WTGG

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLINEAMOON 8/8/2011 12:32AM

  great way of putting it good job to step out of a sad relationship and find a new life style of good eating habits. thanks for the articular emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SCOTMAMA 8/8/2011 12:01AM

    Very innovative! Your blog was sent to me by a friend, and I'm so glad she did -- it was great!

Keep up the good work!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JIBBIE49 8/7/2011 11:41PM

    emoticon What an honor to see your blog among the "Featured Blogs of the Month" http://www.dailyspark.com/blog.asp?
post=this_months_best_member_bl
ogs_8511

Report Inappropriate Comment
AURORA629 8/7/2011 10:30PM

    This blog showed up on one of my friend feeds and the title was so funny, I had to read it. Thanks, I had a good laugh on an otherwise crappy day. Thanks for that. Humor is a great way to get a point across.

Report Inappropriate Comment
F8CONE8 8/7/2011 10:08PM

    emoticon I enjoyed this!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FISHINGLADY66 8/7/2011 9:37PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHATTIEGIRL 8/7/2011 9:07PM

    Hi WATCHMECANCAN;

Darling I want to see you can can and I know you will. This is great that you have divorced FAT and started on the eviction. Keep on the healthy life style in eating and exercise. Put your faith in God helping you and he will. Learn from Spark people each day.

Smile

Joyce

Report Inappropriate Comment
BOHEMIANCAT 8/7/2011 8:55PM

    Love this blog!
Keep up the good work on the divorce and the blogging.
Linda
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRAMMIEOFTWO 8/7/2011 8:25PM

  Thanks Vista for sharing this with me too. What a great blog and so true.

Report Inappropriate Comment
IMJETTA8 8/7/2011 8:25PM

    oh my gosh, how true this is. You go girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ME_FIRST 8/7/2011 8:01PM

    Reading in between the witty lines, I know how seriously about you feel about the implications having extra weight has on our bodies. I am afraid that with my extra 100 lbs that my heart and lungs are suffering. I already know that my knees are shot because of the extra load they carry. Sometimes my heart pounds and I become out of breath. I feel like I'm crumbling under the weight.

Thank you for reminding me of the most important reason to lose this weight. . . . my health and well being.

Yvonne


Report Inappropriate Comment
LUCYFIRST1 8/7/2011 7:57PM

    LOVED THIS BLOG!!! Thanks for sharing. Thanks, Vista, for sharing this with me.
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOROTHYLEE61 8/7/2011 7:41PM

    emoticon emoticon
THANKS FOR SHARING.... emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUDYLK 8/7/2011 7:31PM

    Thanks for sharing. This is awesome! I love it! Judy K emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAYYVAUGHN 8/7/2011 6:15PM

    Thanks for sharing Vista. I appreciate that blog.
Kay

Report Inappropriate Comment
ZEEDRA 8/7/2011 6:14PM

    Clever, clever, clever. And funny.
Thanks for taking the time to write it.
It was forwarded to me by Vista.
Unfortunately, I am not in such a healthy relationship with my fat. It keep giving it second and third chances.
I have to face the fat...er, fact, that this hanger-on is no friend.
Bye,
Sandra

Report Inappropriate Comment
VINGRAM 8/7/2011 5:42PM

    I just found your blog today and wanted to say thank you and to let you know I sent it to a BUNCH of people....just had to share it! vista from n tx

emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post


Log in to post a comment.
Member Comments Page (144 total):  1 2 3 Next >