Friday, July 15, 2011
I'm here to vent today. And hopefully, after venting, things will be in a better perspective!
We live in America. We all know people who have emigrated here from other countries and can appreciate the differences. Embrace them. I live in Central Florida, and when I got to Orlando I love walking around some of the "touristy" areas and listening to the different languages. Guessing where the people are from, what they do, etc.
We all have different ways of doing things and these differences come from our families and they way we were raised, as well the culture we grew up in.
That said, I was raised by educated parents whose families had come over years ago from England, Wales and Germany. Let's just say that they were rather reserved and voices were never raised. Tongues were always "checked" before voicing opinions. Not always the most demonstrative with affection, but definitely a wonderful childhood and loving parents.
That said, I come fast forward to today, where I'm married (for 25 years) to a first generation immigrant who is still totally attached (understandably) to his former language and culture. He's very American in many ways, but there are some differences. One of them is that he and his family seem to have no "filter" when they talk. They feel that if they see something you're doing or eating that is not good for you, it is their place to tell you what you're doing wrong. emphasis on "wrong" or "bad". It seems to be expected by them.
Last night, one of my DH's cousins arrived from their native land with her husband (a cardiologist). Within 20 minutes of meeting my 18 yr-old daughter, she (my daughter) was told that they had something to help her with her acne and that it's from eating chocolate. Of course my daughter is a lovely girl, a straight-A college student, an excellent dancer and a very good person. But I could see her whole being deflate by this relative stranger, whom she had just met. Well meaning? I'm sure. But necessary? My daughter has a hormonal imbalance, we are currently working with a doctor on it and she has seen several dermatologists and been on countless meds. With a bit of makeup it is barely noticable but then she's hit with a zinger . .. . .
This morning as dh and cousins were drinking their tea I was told that coffee is very bad for me. husband told them I drink mostly decaf, but then he said that decaf is very bad for my stomach. Sheesh! I'm sitting there with my steel cut oats and I enjoy my black coffee. My stomach feels just fine, thank you very much!
OHHHHH, I forgot the best part. All of this time, they are talking in their native language, which I don't know that well and they talk about you, then ask for the words to say in English or my husband interprets for me (most of the time).
These are people who appear kind. They smile and bring gifts and act as though they care, so I shouldn't get upset, but I do!!!
I feel better just letting this go . . . .
I would appreciate appreciate some feedback . . . . .