Thursday, July 14, 2011
So I had a derailment in the last month. I quit going to the gym, ate horribly, and sat around doing nothing. Then this week came around I forced myself into a mental decision to get back on track. I haven't weighed myself (a little scared to) but I will maybe next week.
My derailment started when I got laid off. I made too many excuses. Then a friend who had been picking up my daughter everyday couldn't do it anymore so that pressed into what had become my usual gym time. I kept telling myself to go after I picked her up but it just never happened. After that everything just went downhill fast. I spent all day either on the computer or watching TV and some kind of combination of both. I now know what time of day to find the Walton's and Little House on the Prairie on Hallmark and Criminal Minds on A&E.
When this week rolled around something just went off in my head that just got me back on track. I went to the gym on Monday for the first time in a month. Started eating the right foods and taking a conscious effort into thinking about what I should be eating. At first I told myself I can do this without Spark People but tonight I was cleaning up my inbox and found a bunch of Spark emails I never read. At first I was just going to delete all of them but then I read just the subject line and felt a kick. Then I decided I need to blog on Spark People. I need Spark to stay on track. Yesterday I got off my lazy ass and cleaned the patio (something my boyfriend has said he would do since April). Had my son get the beach chairs out of the closet and set them up on the patio so we can sit outside. I also got on my sons back about getting off the computer and doing cleaning (he really isn't liking me being home all day every day). Overall some kind of motivation bug got in me.
I am going to have lunch with a couple of my former co-workers tomorrow. One of them I worked very close with and have actually been having dreams of her stabbing me in the back because that is how I truly felt after losing my job. But I need to see her hoping for some answers since things didn't go down very well. We got along very well and considered her not only to be a work friend but a friend friend which is why I think it hurt so much. Although my boyfriend did tell me not to bring any sharp objects, lol.
I have been sleeping way too late in the day too. Not eating breakfast till lunch time. I know yesterday the reason I had the motivation to clean the patio and get on my sons back was because I had to be up by nine (yes I have been sleeping past nine) because my daughter has a reading club on Wednesdays that she needs to leave for at 11. Then today I slept well past nine and found that before I knew it it was one pm, half the day gone and I had done NOTHING! Knowing everything I had accomplished yesterday I felt ashamed with myself. I have set my alarm to wake me at nine everyday including weekends. Time to get this ship back in shape. My kids will probably hate me for ruining their summer but tough. A little hard work won't kill them. I am actually willing the rent my son out for hard work in return for cash. He may not be too fond of the idea but he needs to learn where money comes from.
My current plan for tomorrow is get up at nine while I would like to go to the gym in the a.m. I am not going to kid myself into thinking it will actually happen. I am not a morning person, I get going after lunch. I want to go to the gym, haven't been there since Monday. So maybe will drop my gym bag off at the gym before going to lunch then hit the gym after lunch. It will be at least one hour between eating and getting there so I should be good. It really is the only way it will happen. I know myself well enough to know that. I am a lazy person at heart, except get me going and there is no stopping me.
Well time for me to hit the hay. No more staying up till the wee hours of the morning for me.