Thursday, July 14, 2011
Last week I tried to eat a Chick-Fil-A chicken, egg and cheese biscuit. I know I know I know ... stop shaking your head! After a bite of a 1/4 of the biscuit I was done.
This may not seem crazy to you but it is to me because I am 32 months post surgery. Some days I wake up thinking, I'm going to get on that scale and it's going to say 250 lbs again. Then I get on and it still says 143. :)
Or I have a really bad day and I want to eat EVERYTHING!!! I just want to let go. But God knows I can't.
I know hundreds of people who have had some form of weight loss surgery. And I can say at least 1/2 of them don't still have restricted diets after 2 1/2 years. BUT, I can also say I know most of them haven't maintained the same weight for almost 2 years. I love that I am so disciplined. People tell me at this point I should be able to eat anything. Really? I keep thinking those people who pushed themselves to eat everything and anything are the ones who gain their weight back.
I'm not sure how they got over the sickness and pain of overeating or of eating sugar ... I swear SUGAR ... IS ... THE ... DEVIL!!!! I love when something makes me sick, I love it. Because that means my body will still reject the things I'm not supposed to have and I stay disciplined because I can't handle pain and I can't handle the frothing (which NO one told me about before surgery) and I CAN NOT handle the dumping ... THAT IS PURE HELL!!!!
I'm so proud of myself and the fact that I haven't given in. While I don't exercise as much as I want, I haven't let myself go. I embraced this experience as a kick start to being more disciplined and that's exactly what's happened. I love listening to my body! I appreciate it even more when he tells me I'm getting TOO skinny!! :)