Thursday, July 14, 2011
I'm leaving soon to go to a new babysitting job where I'll meet the mother and the kids for the first time. And I am petrified. I'm not worried about relating to the kids [I'm a huge kid], I'm not worried about performing my job well [as a daycare employee and an education major, kids are kinda my thing]... I'm worried about the looks.
No matter how confident I am, or how able, I always find my stomach tied into tiny little knots when I'm about to meet someone for the first time. Whether it be a coworker, new job, new client, etc. I am positive that their initial reaction is, "Wow... she's fat."
I know it happens and unfortunately we live in a society where fat gets you shunned. I can picture getting out of my car and having the kids say, "But she's fat," and the mom wondering if I'm capable of chasing her kids all day. And I am. But until someone knows me, they don't know that. They just see spunk hidden by blubber.
I'm sick of worrying if I'm the fattest one in the room, or the class, or the wedding party, etc. Sick of it.
I'm going to pump some Adele on the way over, get the "fire" in my heart going and take a deep breathe before the inevitable. Wish me luck.