At this point my friends, I can not...or rather am choosing not to keep up with SP. I need to refocus more intensely on my own life, survival and find my motivation again.
Fracturing my pelvic last year, really through me for a loop and not being able to exercise for 6 months was challenging. The fact that I was forced to get a 2nd job and worked 90 hr/wk between both jobs, was devasting for me; emotionally, physically and mentally.
I've cut down on my 2nd job work hours, but lost the fight in me to get back up and work out like I was, or EVEN attempt to get my butt to the gym (free). It's gone, kaput, gonzo.
Not gone forever....just misplaced.
I don't know if I'll EVER ride a bicycle again out in public. The fear is overwhelmingly terrifying for me and that emotion makes me upset with myself for allowing such a weakness to engulf me.....hahahah....I say this and YET, I'm out riding my Harley!
August 1st is my Transformation Day. I am going to make a schedule of my training, start counting my calories, food input, exercise minutes and moniter my weight (I don't even OWN a scale).
Financially I will finally be back on my feet by August and not have to worry if I should buy a roll of TP or stock up on food from the Dollar Store...HA Food....WHAT A JOKE.
Right now....it PAINS me to get all the group updates, and SP messages, knowing that I'm a "Poser" and not a participant. That being said, I'm going to remove myself from the daily emails that SP sends out. I wont be checking my page, and am deciding if whether or not to remove myself from SP all together....still not sure.
If anyone wants, needs or desires to get a hold of me...here's my email address:
Hopefully I'll be back, better than ever, with the strength to plow through it once again.
P.S. Here's the most recent picture of me....Thankfully, I am sitting down and you aren't able to view the regression of the body composition.