When will I be happy?
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
I wonder, when will I be happy this time? Looking back over my past blogs, it looks like I really started feeling good about the way I was looking last year when I got down to about 150 lbs. That's when the photo of me in that dress I loved so much was taken (the one that's on my Sparkpage underneath my graduation photo). But I wonder if I'm going to be as happy when I get back to 150 this time, because looking at that photo, I'm not sure I really like what I see. I think back then I might have felt thinner than I looked, probably because I had started at 173 that time, and so I had just lost over 20 lbs...
Well, maybe I shouldn't expect to be happy at 150 this time. Maybe since I started 10 lbs down, at 163, this time I'll have to get down to 140 or so before I really get that great of a feeling again.
Not that I don't feel a little better already. At least my size 10 jeans fit without making me feel entirely like a stuffed sausage.
Why do I sound so negative today? Is it the Domino's ham and veggie pizza I ate last night and then again for lunch today (with the utmost moderation, although I still don't feel so good about ingesting so much sodium), or the fact that the scale didn't move today, even though I know I can't expect it to move every single day? Or the fact that despite the fact that I'm losing weight by just monitoring my food intake alone, I know I haven't been exercising the way I should?
Gah, who knows...I think it's just one of those days. Just have to trudge on (and I have a sneaking suspicion it really is all the sodium from the pizza talking...)