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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall


Wednesday, July 13, 2011

And if all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't fix Humpty Dumpty, then it's time for Humpty Dumpty to fix himself. Why do we need men to fix things? I think I am totally capable of fixing this bump in the road myself. This time I fell off the wagon and was laying on the ground while the wagon rolled away to the next town. I think I may have caught up to the wagon and I'm ready to climb back on.

Back in April I hit 158lbs, and now after a few weeks of whatever this was I went back up to 173 as of this morning and it has to stop. Right now I take back control, I start tracking, I leave the house, I get over him and what I thought he was going to be and I get back out there. I'm leaving for Mexico this Saturday and I don't think there's much I can do about this bit of weight. I can do some crunches and push ups until then. I booked this trip 2 weeks ago and could have done something, but I got kicked hard this time and I needed the time off.

The last two days of June ended the school year with an unexpected unsatisfactory rating for the year at work and started the summer with the guy who was talking marriage dumping me. So this is how June ends and July begins for me, unsatisfactory and dumped. It was hard to breathe and I developed a special relationship with Ice Cream again for a while. God Bless that Haagen Daaz store near Best Buy there's something special about 2 scoops of strawberry in a waffle cone with chocolate sprinkles. Hence the weight gain. No I'm not working out, yes I'm eating like a hungry whale.

Everything just started going downhill for no reason and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. I was told I was being put on permanent budget at work on March 25th, on May 13td I'm pulled from all duties because I have a bad day and then on June 28th I find out I get a Unsatisfactory rating for the year! It will take over a year to appeal the rating and I have no idea what I'm doing for September. Talk about blind sided by politics. I sent my resume to 58 schools, but with a U rating I doubt I'll get a call so I may be assigned to a random school to be a substitute in September, again.

After the U rating, I'm under the impression that everything is great with the new guy, you should have heard the way he was talking, sounded like he had everything planned. Even asked me about what kind of ring I wanted and how to get a marriage license. So it's 3pm on June 3rd and I'm on my way to my apartment to shower and get ready to see him, we had plans that evening. We had breakfast that morning and both had errands to run that day. We had a lovely morning. I get a call right when I'm on my way to my apartment and it's him. He says things are out of control and he just isn't feeling it and we should just both move on and take care. Our personalities don't mesh, we have nothing in common, we don't have good conversations. Makes no sense, I just watched us spend two months finding out we had a lot in common, we meshed just great and we talked for hours. I have no idea what happened.

Right now it's harder getting over what I thought he was going to be. I think I'm already over him, now I have to get over what could have been. He never should have talked to me like that. So he's just gone, and I'm going to Mexico on Saturday. I'll be blogging more again, so please everyone come and read. Have a great day everyone.
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