Monday, July 11, 2011
Haven't posted a blog in a while. Nothing exciting or positive to report so..whatever. Haven't lost any weight. I'm sure I've gained some since I last updated my ticker but I haven't gotten around to weighing myself. Maybe one of these days.. I went on "vacation" the other week to visit family (I use the word vacation very loosely but I'm not even going to go into that now) I have some new pics I'll upload at some point.
Honestly I've been so stressed and overwhelmed with countless things I can't even go into right now. The cherry on the cake was a week ago, the day I came home from "vacation" I had to put my 17 y/o cat to sleep. I can't believe the shape I found him in when I came home. Welcome home right? Horrible day. I've never had to make the decision to euthanize a pet. I feel guilty and horrible and depressed about it.
Now my other cat (my orange Tabby Oliver) who is basically the center of my universe, MAY have intestinal lymphoma. He used to be close to 20 lbs but he's lost a lot of weight and throws up several times a week and has chronic diarrhea. He's going in for an ultrasound tomorrow so figure out if it's possibly IBD, or worst case scenerio if it's intestinal lymphoma. Sounds naive, but I never even took into consideration that Oliver could ever even get sick. I've had him since he was 2 weeks old. Had to be bottle fed and all. And now he's almost 13 years old and seemed to be in great health, with the exception of these vomitting/diarrhea episodes. I thought maybe he had a parasite or maybe it was his food. Unforunately it's probably some kind of chronic condition. Hopefully not the big "C" but I'll have a better idea tomorrow. I wanted to postpone his ultrasound and try and get him insured before we proceed with testing and find out an official diagnosis, but since the vet saw him last week and took notes on his symptoms he wouldnt be approved. Great. I can't afford out of pocket expenses (so many have come up over the last few months I feel like I'm drowning) but I CAN'T not do anything for him. Sigh. One step at a time I guess right?
Basically I'm emotionally spent. I'm depleted and depressed and stressed and miserable in general. Not trying to be dramatic but my pets are like my children and when something happens to them I suffer right along with them. Someone please tell me I'm not the only person who turns into a total basket case when something happens to their pets?
Sorry for the gloomy blog, I try to avoid these, but I've been feeling rather gloomy and unhappy lately (not just with my cats but that's really put me over the edge). Hopefuly more cheerful sentiments will be to come in the near future.