Friday, July 08, 2011
After spending most of my life as a regular journal-keeper, first in writing and later on several websites, it's weird to me that I let so much time go between posts now. Some of it is that I live my life in a far less internal way, but I still think it's a beneficial activity that I should be doing more of.
After my last post I did indeed go to a doctor and a physical therapist. I got custom orthotics and learned some things about my legs and back which were helpful. My ankle still isn't 100%, but I suspect it's at least partly due to my lack of consistent workout and treatment plan. I have been running 1-3 times a week for a couple of months, so I'm not totally missing out on exercise. I just really need to make a consistent varied workout plan that will slowly give me more strength instead of random 4-5 mile runs.
I quit the volunteer job because it was making me miserable in a lot of ways. The interviews I had never panned out (a long stupid story), and my temp job that had been going on forever was finally due to be terminated. So a week and a half before the end date I started a new temp job that carried a number of positives: pay raise, better commute, direct hire by a law firm rather than going through a temp agency. It was only supposed to be a few weeks, but then with almost a week to go they let half of us go. No feedback, no warning. I just came back from lunch and was told by the person who sat next to me that once I was done with what I was working on it was over. This was on Tuesday. After giving myself permission to spend the rest of the day feeling sorry for myself, and spending most of that time eating cheese popcorn and watching tv, I'm trying to move on. My biggest issue is whether I will get approved for unemployment. I think it will be ok, but until it comes through there are some days of fear here. Most of the stuff I had to do for my running injury is being paid for out-of-pocket despite the fact that I have health insurance and I only run to keep myself healthy. My boyfriend is saintly in his patience and willingness to shoulder the financial burden of our life together, but he has his own debt and doesn't make enough money to keep it up for too long. Also it's depressing to me that he has a 2-year degree and I have an advanced professional education plus a license to practice law and yet only one of us has had stable employment for the last 2 years. I went into a practical profession so that I would always be able to support myself, and it's just not been going too well.
There are some plusses here. One of them is that I have had to deal with so many challenges since finishing school and moving here that I am much more relaxed and able to roll with the punches than I was before. I'm definitely scared and worried, but I also understand that everyone is affected by the current status of the world, and I should focus on the things that I have control over. Another is that I have not had paid time off in years, so every hour I took off from work I had to either make up or lose in pay. It is nice to have some downtime to enjoy the Minneapolis summer. This week I'm playing a bit, but next week I'm pretty excited to tackle some house projects that we've been putting off. I'm also working on building a small business with a friend. While it probably won't support us financially for a while (if ever), I'll have some time to work on that as well.
On the lifestyle front, I also have realized just in the last couple of days how bad my eating got in response to the stress and boredom of my work life. All the beautiful summer vegetables are coming into season (including from our own vegetable garden - my first one!), and I'm excited about having time and energy to make good healthy food and reconnect with my love of cooking. I'm also getting back into walking - the one thing I miss about going to school in a small college town.