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    ONESILLYME   4,248
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Guilty


Tuesday, July 05, 2011

I'm still healing and still frustrated by an assortment of things. Got home and started eating pre-SparkPeople comfort food and lots of it. Had company come last Friday and ate very evil, sodium filled convenience food. Company wanted to get out & do things, so we did and I was on my feet waaay too much. Was about to quit taking pain pills but then had to ramp that up again for a couple of days.

Last time I checked I was up 6 lbs and I'm sure it's more now considering how swollen my poor ankles are. So the good news is, I had several months of unswollen ankles and now I know just how uncomfortable they are since I'm no longer used to it. Which motivates me to get back on track.

However, I'm sort of embarassed to be as focused on "me" as I am. My 1/2 sister had a kidney removed due to cancer 3 mos ago & they just found tumors in her bladder at her check up. She'll have the tumors removed & do chemo, but this is seriously bad news. My Mom called today, freaked out because my grandmother (who has been in a nursing home) has gone into congestive heart failure. My husband has an abcessed tooth that he can't get pulled until next week. Really, what's a swollen ankle, sore hip or diet de-railment in the grand scheme of things? I would like to go home to support my Mom, but have a sick hubby and am not entirely sure me being there wouldn't make things worse for Mom. (She'd worry.)

Work is also being difficult. I had arranged to do some work from home before having surgery. Friday I put in 3 hours and today I had a message asking why I did that... Um, because that's what we agreed and because I want to do as much as I can so there isn't a disaster when I get back?

So. That leaves me with trying to eat healthier, because it's good for me and in turn that's good for everyone around me. And trying to figure out how to be supportive to family from a distance. And collecting my thoughts before talking to people from work so I don't say something I'll regret.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
DUMBELLE 7/9/2011 9:49PM

    That's the way life goes sometimes. It doesn't rain, it pours. You have alot on your plate, and my heart goes out to you.
Praying that you will be able to get back on track health wise. You have to look after yourself too!

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SRHALLIN 7/5/2011 8:50PM

    I know we've never spoken/met/or interacted before, but, for what it is worth:

Eating unhealthy foods won't help you, your husband, your sister, your Mother or your Grandmother. In fact, it will only create additional obstacles. (See swollen ankles that are very much unkind to hearts and souls throughout the SP Universe!)

So, lets figure out what we *can* do, today, to make some of this better.

Well, to help you - lets practice looking out our good health as a plus. We're stronger and have more energy, and suffer fewer health problems when we're taking good care of ourselves. That leaves us better able to shoulder the burdens of our loved ones when they are in need.

So, really, putting yourself first is enabling you to be a better person/wife/sister/daughter/grand-d
aughter. Largely because your intent is not to present yourself in a grandiose scheme, but, rather to be a healthier person. So, no need for any guilt there.

For your husband - I recommend rinsing out the abcessed tooth with some No Salt, and following it up with a rinse with Rum (Yes, it is a very versatile and nummy fluid.) and chasing *that* with some Ibuprofen. Since, that is the home remedy I used until last friday when I could get to the dentist; and it worked quite splendidly after the initial pain wore off. - There, someone else we won't have to worry about for more than an hour or so. :)

For your sister, you can't do anything about her illness. But, you can encourage her to eat healthy foods, get exercise, and rest. And of course, tell her how much she means to you and that you're there for her if she needs a shoulder to cry on.

Ah, Mom - yeah... As a parent, I can honestly say there's never going to be a day that she isn't at least a *little* worried about you. But, she will worry less if you are taking care of yourself. So, that's another one in the win column.

You can't always take away fear and pain. You love your mother in the same way that she loves hers (hopefully.) So, if you imagine yourself in her shoes for a moment, her response is very understandable. She won't want to weigh you down either. Parents are like that. But, maybe you can think of what you would need to hear in her position, and give her some relief that way?

Not everything has a solution. But, if one is available to any problem when all hell is breaking loose, that's what I try to focus on. Maybe it will help you, too.

Regardless, I wish you the best of luck with your health, and I shall say a prayer for your family as well.

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JILL313 7/5/2011 8:34PM

    Take it easy as you have a lot of issues going on in your life right now. Take a deep breathe and get back of track. Sodium is a hard one for me also as I seem to be way over on my Tracker. You're right to figure out what you want to say to your co-workers as we can't take back our words once they're said. Wishing you and your family all the best.

Hugs,

Jill

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