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    RENLA6991   50,143
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Postponing a Dream

Sunday, July 03, 2011

Tuesday, July 5th was to be the day that I registered for the 2012 Disney Princess HM. Ever since the day I found out about this race it has been my dream to run it. Iím a huge Disney fan, and the idea of running through WDW (especially Cinderellaís castle) while being entertained by characters and thousands of other Disney fans really excited me. I had made plans to run it with a few close SparkFriends of mine next year, all decked out in our pretty pink finery. 2012 was going to be the Year of the Princess.

And then reality came and bit me on the butt.

My air conditioner/heat pump died. It was 22+ years old, so it lived a long, valiant life. Unfortunately it had the worst freaking time to go out. You see, not only was I planning to run Princess next year, I was also considering moving. The idea was to possibly move sometime next year & sell the house with a home warranty, knowing that the furnace would need to be replaced soon. Why couldnít it hold on a little longer?

The dead air conditioner has forced me to make decisions faster than I had anticipated. I could replace only the heat pump motor for about $700, use the rest of the Disney money to get the house ready for market before anything else goes wrong & start looking for a new job. Or I can replace the heat pump/AC unit for $3000-4000 and not be able to afford to move for a couple years.

My daughter & I moved to the Cincinnati area 15 years ago for a good-paying job that I no longer have and to give her the best education possible. We donít have family in the area, so I had always assumed I would move out of the area once Laura graduated & found a place of her own.

Being a single mom for 19 years & not fathoming the thought of living too far from my daughter, I had planned on settling back down somewhere a couple hours away from her. But life has changed dramatically for me over the past year and with it my plans have too. I think itís healthier to allow Laura to move wherever her dreams carry her, without her mom hovering close by to watch over & protect her. Iíve also met someone, and this move would bring us a little closer together. Even if things donít work out with this person, Iíll still be living much closer to my sister, parents & several other relatives.

Iíve decided to replace the motor only & move to the Columbus area. Almost everything in my Virgo, OCD, ultra-planning body is fighting against this choice. I feel stupid trying to sell my house & find a job in this market, opening myself up to a relationship after being alone & independent for so many years, and letting my daughter possibly move hundreds of miles away (sheís considering Virginia Beach) without me. But my heart is telling me that itís time to take the plunge. After sleepwalking for so long, Iíve been making conscious efforts over the past year to live a more vibrant, courageous life. This just feels like the next step I need to take. Iím scared half to death, but Iím moving forward and taking that leap of faith anyway.

So, even though Iíll be sad on July 5th as my friends are registering for Disney Princess, itíll be okay. Itís worth postponing one dream to pursue so many others.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITNHEALTHYKAL 8/9/2012 6:36AM

    Not sure why I just saw this but how about you use the dream race as a fairy tale BEGINNING to your new life after you get moved and settled and plan on doing it next year in 2013? Start planning and dreaming NOW!

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WAMCVEY 8/12/2011 11:47AM

    Wow, I have been negligent in keeping up to date with the going-ons of my sparkbuddies and only now read through your blog. Sad to hear you'll be leaving the neighborhood, but it sounds like it's probably the right decision. Do you have any definite plans on when you plan to move?

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TIGGER622 7/19/2011 4:29PM

    It took me FOREVER to get to your blog, but I am so glad I finally did!!! It sounds like your life is moving in such a healthy direction, that is awesome!!! I loved reading your story and am inspired by your decision to take the plunge and make these moves that may seem so foreign and unsafe, you are truly living!!! And you are right it is merely postponing - you will run disney one day!!! Good for you!

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XHASTEDMOMOF2 7/12/2011 7:25PM

    You've definitely got a lot on your plate there!!! So really sucks about your A/C!! And I know you would have really enjoyed the race!! I wish you all the best as you work thru the details in your mind. And if Laura moves to Va Beach, she would only be a little over 2 hours South East from a messy house that would welcome her with open arms anytime!!

Keep us posted as you make your plans!!

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MOXIE-IN-MOTION 7/5/2011 9:02PM

    This made me sad and happy for you all at once. It is definitely upsetting that you can't run in the Princess Half, but so many other good things will be happening for you. And I'm sure, sometime down the road, you'll get to run through WDW and through Cinderella's Castle!

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ASKILLMAN 7/5/2011 8:28PM

    Focusing on the "now" will be better in the long run! I hope that in the future you are able to run the race. You are being very positive about the situation, and I wish you the best.

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TERJEGOLD 7/5/2011 1:18PM

    What's that saying, "when one door closes another opens"? Something like that. So while your Disney race will happen later than earlier, hopefully since you have thought this out so well and have things planned out, you will be pleasantly surprised by nice turns in your life. I hope this next year is fantastic for you.

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CHELLES_BELLS 7/5/2011 11:20AM

    I found this post in my feed and had to comment. The Princess Half was my goal race, the entire reason I started running. But then we had some major money issues when my partner lost his job. I cant even imagine affording an entry right now. Thank you for sharing your post. It really has helped me cope with my postponement.

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CHELLES_BELLS 7/5/2011 11:20AM

    I found this post in my feed and had to comment. The Princess Half was my goal race, the entire reason I started running. But then we had some major money issues when my partner lost his job. I cant even imagine affording an entry right now. Thank you for sharing your post. It really has helped me cope with my postponement.

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CHELLES_BELLS 7/5/2011 11:19AM

    I found this post in my feed and had to comment. The Princess Half was my goal race, the entire reason I started running. But then we had some major money issues when my partner lost his job. I cant even imagine affording an entry right now. Thank you for sharing your post. It really has helped me cope with my postponement.

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VAMPTRIANA4EVR 7/4/2011 6:10PM

    Sounds like you are making the best of a bad situation and as everyone else has already said there is always 2013... Who knows maybe I will even be able to do it with ya by then!

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NURSESARAH03 7/4/2011 3:19PM

    Renee,
You are such a courageous and vibrant person. Reach for the stars and break of a big shiny piece for yourself. Your daughter will be fine; I'm sure you've raised her to be a very capable, smart, and courageous woman in her own part. Time to take some time for YOU. Sounds like you're doing some pretty great things with what life has handed you. emoticon

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MGJARVI 7/4/2011 2:25PM

    BIG HUGS Renee! Hey, just think, maybe it'll be the FULL marathon next time and maybe you'll be able to talk me into it ;-) I'm incredibly proud of my brave friend, you have my full support!!!
I emoticon YOU!

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JEM0622 7/4/2011 11:08AM

    Well I am not registering so you have company. Sounds like you have some fears but also lots of trust too. I think everything will be okay. Truly okay. emoticon

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JEANNETTE59 7/4/2011 10:45AM

  Follow your heart...it's time to spread your wing and fly emoticon

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2WHEELER 7/4/2011 8:14AM

    Renee--how exciting to be taking another new journey. You're a seasoned traveler--single mom, couch potato to runner, and probably so much more. You'll successfully navigate this journey, too. Trust your decisions. You've been a wonderful example for your daughter and she deserves to live life to the fullest and revel in her own journey.

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BE-THE-CHANGE 7/3/2011 10:55PM

    Renee, follow your heart. There will be other races, but it sounds like this is the time for you to make the move. It's hard to let go of your daughter...I know...I am letting go of mine right now. But I know you can do this!

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MOMONTHERUN1 7/3/2011 10:43PM

    Disney will always be there!

Good luck on the move and the job hunting. Everything happens for a reason....might not make you feel any better, but keep your head held high and you can always do the 2013 Princess.

Lianne

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BILLALEX70 7/3/2011 10:31PM

    Hate to hear that things are going to have to be postponed for Princess, but better to be postponed than cancelled.

Nothing worse than home repairs that have to be done before you want to sell.

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LECATES 7/3/2011 8:16PM

    Hey, Virginia Beach is not that far from me---about 2+ hours away---if an emergency should come up--just let me know---and if you come to visit her, I could come meet you. Go for it!

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LAURIE5658 7/3/2011 7:49PM

    Renee, its time to spread your wings and fly. Its time to see what the world has to offer you. Its time to take that step outside your comfy box and test the waters. There will be many more Princess HM's out there and there is one with your name on it. Follow your intuition and go with it!!! Exciting things await you!

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HILLRUNNER 7/3/2011 5:35PM

    Any change is difficult and you have so many going on.
Doing what is the best thing for you is so important.
May both you and your daughter make and achieve new dreams!


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LYNNANN43 7/3/2011 3:30PM

    I'm so sorry, Renee... For the air conditioner/ heat pump, not being able to sign up for your dream HM, and all of the anxiety.

I'm sure in the end, everything will work out. But for now... emoticon

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MACKANDME 7/3/2011 2:58PM

    Oh Renee. Were you and I made from the same cloth? I moved to Texas with Jim so he could go to college without having to worry about paying rent somewhere,, car payments, insurance food and all that so he could put all his focus on school.
Other than my step dad I don't' have anyone here either. We have been here a year now and I still have no friends because I work from home and DS always has my car either at school or his part time job. I came fro Utah after living there for over 25 years and Dallas was/is a culture shock. I have always wanted to live in California..it is on my bucket list. So I too had planned on moving once DS graduated from college. And I don't like the idea of being so far apart from him either. But the bottom line is if I don't give him room to spread his wings he will either resent me or I will stunt his emotional growth. Sad we have to eventually let go. And like you I freak out over change. I am definitely a creature of habit.
I think you should bite the bullet and replace the unit for $700.00 and do what you have to do to move and be happier. Change is scary but sometimes what we need to grow. Like you I have not found my place in this world yet. And why should we stop till we find it? Hooray on your new friend. And for being able to be closer to your family. WDW will be there for you when you are ready.
Wish I could go with ya!
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FITLIKENIC 7/3/2011 1:21PM

    Renee you know what I think already ~ Time to follow YOUR dreams, DD needs to follow hers and she knows you will be there always. Remember the saying we used a couple rounds ago 'Nothing changes if Nothing changes'... YOU are taking charge and putting you first, right where you belong! Love you Girl! emoticon

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BAM0827 7/3/2011 1:03PM

    Sounds like Columbus is a great decision for you - lots of pluses. Your daughter is too young for you to decide to live/move close to her. Lots can change in her life and it will be nice that she has a place to call home if she finds her path taking her there.

The marathon is just a weekend - sounds like your dreams of moving closer to family, maybe a possible relationship, etc. are much longer than that. I think it's great you're deciding to go long term and not just a weekend.

Wishes for a quick sale on the house so you can move quickly into the next phase of your life. How exciting!!!!!

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CALIDREAMER76 7/3/2011 12:34PM

    If I've gotten anything else from spark people besides learning how to live in a healthier way it is confidence in making decisions and mucho support for those decisions. I've done things I never would have 5 years ago and am happier, healthier, more fulfilled and realize the sky is the limit!

As others have stated: God has a plan, and in the midst of turmoil, confusion and frustration I have to believe His plan is perfect and everything will be ok if we open ourselves up to listen to His guidance and try to follow His will. You don't have to be religious, just faithful!

It will be ok, everything will work out in the right time!
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DAWNDMOORE40 7/3/2011 12:14PM

    emoticon I can relate to how it feels when you have a dream and it doesn't always go as planned, but you sound like a very strong woman! I don't know if your a religious woman, but I will tell you, I believe that God has a plan for all of us, but it's on his time frame not ours! He has a plan for you! I have a feeling one day you may be able to run that race, but for now, he's saying you need to slow down and smell the roses! I know it will be hard to make these changes, but I admire how brave you are! God bless you! May he keep you safe! Have a happy Fourth of July! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DREBENEZER 7/3/2011 12:11PM

    Renee, all things happen for a reason...or so we are told...when things set us back we just have to look at it as another opportunity. Good luck and I wish you well. Maybe we can all be at Disney in 2013.

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LUVYA798 7/3/2011 12:09PM

  wow.I admire your courage.Thats a big decision to make. Maybe once you have things with the house in order you can run that race. emoticon

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DTSOBEL 7/3/2011 12:07PM

    WOW! What a change in plans. I am also a Virgo and doubt I could ever make that type of change. But I know you can be successful with all your dreams. There will always be a Disney HM, so the following year will be yours.

Is Tuesday the last day to register? Maybe you will get more money for your house and you will be able to afford the race?

Good luck.

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