Sunday, July 03, 2011
Tuesday, July 5th was to be the day that I registered for the 2012 Disney Princess HM. Ever since the day I found out about this race it has been my dream to run it. Iím a huge Disney fan, and the idea of running through WDW (especially Cinderellaís castle) while being entertained by characters and thousands of other Disney fans really excited me. I had made plans to run it with a few close SparkFriends of mine next year, all decked out in our pretty pink finery. 2012 was going to be the Year of the Princess.
And then reality came and bit me on the butt.
My air conditioner/heat pump died. It was 22+ years old, so it lived a long, valiant life. Unfortunately it had the worst freaking time to go out. You see, not only was I planning to run Princess next year, I was also considering moving. The idea was to possibly move sometime next year & sell the house with a home warranty, knowing that the furnace would need to be replaced soon. Why couldnít it hold on a little longer?
The dead air conditioner has forced me to make decisions faster than I had anticipated. I could replace only the heat pump motor for about $700, use the rest of the Disney money to get the house ready for market before anything else goes wrong & start looking for a new job. Or I can replace the heat pump/AC unit for $3000-4000 and not be able to afford to move for a couple years.
My daughter & I moved to the Cincinnati area 15 years ago for a good-paying job that I no longer have and to give her the best education possible. We donít have family in the area, so I had always assumed I would move out of the area once Laura graduated & found a place of her own.
Being a single mom for 19 years & not fathoming the thought of living too far from my daughter, I had planned on settling back down somewhere a couple hours away from her. But life has changed dramatically for me over the past year and with it my plans have too. I think itís healthier to allow Laura to move wherever her dreams carry her, without her mom hovering close by to watch over & protect her. Iíve also met someone, and this move would bring us a little closer together. Even if things donít work out with this person, Iíll still be living much closer to my sister, parents & several other relatives.
Iíve decided to replace the motor only & move to the Columbus area. Almost everything in my Virgo, OCD, ultra-planning body is fighting against this choice. I feel stupid trying to sell my house & find a job in this market, opening myself up to a relationship after being alone & independent for so many years, and letting my daughter possibly move hundreds of miles away (sheís considering Virginia Beach) without me. But my heart is telling me that itís time to take the plunge. After sleepwalking for so long, Iíve been making conscious efforts over the past year to live a more vibrant, courageous life. This just feels like the next step I need to take. Iím scared half to death, but Iím moving forward and taking that leap of faith anyway.
So, even though Iíll be sad on July 5th as my friends are registering for Disney Princess, itíll be okay. Itís worth postponing one dream to pursue so many others.