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Thursday, 6/30 Getting sassy!!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Hi all,

Do you think that you get more confidence after you lose weight and become more healthy? Is it a part of growing older and more established? I don't know if the "why" part matters, but something is up with me. I have tackled a few major issues head-on rather than my former way of "putting up" with things that aren't right or fair like the former, shy Sylvia did. I called and talked to one of the park board supervisors about a wayward employee who was making life at the summer program unpleasant for every other adult involved and I simply ended the conversation by telling the supervisor that "you need to shut her mouth." I also returned an email by the PhD candidate who is supposed to be observing our summer program for her class and who is trying to act as a principal and told her that I wasn't expecting an evaluation and that there were rules about that. (I also hit the "reply all" button so this went back to administrators and everyone else in the program.) She was pretty upset with me today and we had a tense conversation--but in the end, she is not doing the "evaluation" and will come by at an appropriate time to observe a variety of ways that I teach reading. I needed relief from these things and I spoke up and got it, just like I got ahold of administrators about carrying heavy classroom materials and things are now set up for custodians to move things back for me.

Anyway, what has happened to me that I did something about all of this stuff rather than quietly swallowing it and accepting it. I think a few things have impacted me. I have had a tough relationship with my principal for the past 5 years and I finally had to call out for help because she was so mean and inappropriate with me. I know that she cares mostly about appearances, so having an obese, disabled, non-walking employee made her cringe--but that is not right for her to do. A second thing was my new doctor who offered to call my employers and who wrote a detailed restriction list of what I absolutely NOT do which includes overhead work, lifting more than 5 pounds, and repetitive bending at the waist. I took responsibility for my own actions in moving things--because I had no available help, just a custodian who was badgering me to hurry--and I handled it to save some face. I also think that I don't need to hide out from the world like I used to do because I am more comfortable with my appearance. Losing a lot of weight made me happier in my own skin, and gave me some sort of internal permission to finally become visible and speak from my heart.

I wish that I hadn't been so ashamed of myself for how I looked for so many years--I think that was the result of how people treated me in my life. Everyone from my own parents, my siblings, kids at school from elementary to high school all make fun of me constantly and it hurt. Staying away from that prevented it from happening and I think it became a way of life. It has taken me a long time to find my voice and to use it. I think I like the outcome, because even if several of these people are probably irritated with me, they have agreed that I am correct in my comments and things are really going my way. I wonder how much work I have done and how much rudeness I have accepted because I didn't want to make a scene and be noticed.

I really have gotten better!!

Gentle hugs,
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I almost missed this blog. Well done and well said Sylvia. I love it.
    emoticon emoticon
    2451 days ago
    I'm so glad you've found your voice. I'm looking forward to finding mine, too!
    2451 days ago
    Great job!! finding our voice is very important, and is not something we are taught. However, you will be a great example to your students too!! My son is disabled and learning to self advocate is a goal on his IEP. Keep on speaking up.
    2452 days ago
    I am woman hear me roar" I like that!! emoticon
    2452 days ago
  • _LINDA
    This is awesome Sylvia! The Mouse that Roared!! So very glad you have found your voice and are finally sticking up for your own rights -as equally as important as the rights of any disabled student is also the disabled worker/teacher..
    We strive to do the absolute best we can being physically challenged people, but we do have our limits and bounderies and the right not to have to suffer beyond them.
    Go Sylvia!!!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    {{{gentle hugs}}}
    2453 days ago
    My favorite line is "I am woman hear me roar!" You keep roaring girlfriend and people will listen!
    Well done!
    2453 days ago
    You gave me a big smile, Sylvia. You are becoming more like Morticia. LOL. I think it is a combination of maturity and declining female hormones. LOL.

    Shame on the principal. I cringe to think about someone like this having to be in charge of handicapped or special needs children if that is her feelings.

    I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself and in doing so you are representing so many others like you, including my own mother and grandmother who were both disabled and in wheelchairs. They were not second class citizens and I would have not put up with anyone treating them as such.

    Love you. GF!!
    2453 days ago

    What an awesome job standing up for yourself!!

    I am glad you are standing up for yourself... I do agree, we become more confident when we are skinnier....

    2454 days ago

    I could have written this blog, but you did it so much more eloquently than I would have. Love every word of it.

    I have been going through the same thing. It's amazing to me.
    2454 days ago
    emoticon I'm proud of you for finding more confidence and inner strength! Great job standing up for yourself and others in your summer program. I do agree that the more weight I lose, the more confident I am. Keep up the good work my friend. Love, Dawn emoticon emoticon
    2455 days ago
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