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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Hi everyone! It has been some time since I've written a blog, and thought maybe it was time I give a little update. I've received comments as to my wearing a leg brace at times, so I thought it best to let my buds know how things are going. I hope I don't bore you with the subject, but, you know me, just love that "My Schwannoma!" emoticon song title and medical discovery and the progress I'm making -- one day at a time!

emoticonHmmm....where do I begin emoticon

On some days, I have absolutely no indication of even having the tumor or herniated disks. Then, on other days emoticon Hello, and here we are again! Tingling sensations and/or loss of strength when I stand. But, that's when we put that brace on and shout to the world, "Move out of the way -- Momma is coming through!" emoticon

The headaches are continuing and the TIAs as well, but I'm just thankful the ER is only a half a mile away -- so, when I feel this is a different sort of feeling going through my body and more severe than I'm getting somewhat used to, my hubby jumps in the car and we're set to go. So, overall, I'm trying to keep all my bases covered and, so far, so good. The next specialist appointment may shed more light on these headaches, mini-strokes and abnormal blood readings. But until then, cardio, strength, yoga, anything to remain flexible is a super huge part of my day!

So, no need to worry my friends! If you know me, I love a challenge and I'm set to continue to strengthen the stomach muscles -- as they help to strengthen the back as well. I'm still refusing (I'm such a stubborn bug sometimes) to go on any medications to deaden the nerve endings -- as, sorry, doctors -- I'm on enough for other chronic conditions and I'm not about to add any more to my list unless and until I have no choice. But, for now, I have a choice, and I hope I continue to in the months ahead.

But, the funny thing about this whole latest medical issue is that it has given me a different outlook when it comes to other areas of my life. It's kind of like little pieces of the puzzle are fitting together and all at the same time!

My job and how things have been going there and how I've been emotionally drained by others' actions. Is it really worth it??? A friend of mine asked me a question awhile ago -- "How much money do you have to have to die?" Funny sort of question -- but it makes a person think. If every day wears you down more and more until there's nothing left for your body to fight with health-wise, is it worth it? So, I'm going to look into possibly taking the necessary classes, etc., and work with the elderly in an assisted-living or nursing home type position. The pay may or may not be the same -- but the smiles and knowing you can make a difference in someone's life -- to me, that's worth it!

Friends! What happened to the old group of us that went out just to share a pizza and the laughs? I used to be the planner and got everyone together for a fun evening! The sad thing is that one of our friends passed away a year or so ago, and somehow those get-togethers may not feel the same -- he was always so caring and loved a good laugh or two (or three....) emoticon luv ya, Al! I know you're in good hands and a better place, and with no more pain. But, I'll always miss him sitting at the end of the table and grabbing the first piece of emoticon What a guy and what a missed friend! Maybe it's time to plan those parties and enjoy each other's company again! And, it would be so worth it!

Parents! I always knew that the symptoms of Parkinson's were increasing with my Dad and that my Mom had a lot on her shoulders with daily living and caring and watching over him -- as he was always so active and still tries to be -- but it's difficult to let him go out to the garage, etc., and know that he's okay or that he hasn't fallen. Sorry, Dad, you can't go on that tractor any more. Sorry, Dad, you probably shouldn't be cutting the grass even with the riding lawnmowers. The jarring from doing so, could and has caused problems for him later on in the evening hours where he will drop on his knees. How do you tell someone that you soooo love not to do the things he used to and, only because it's for his own good and safety? How does his baby of the family (Me, at the age of 51!) provide as much care, love and more to the people that I love the most? They are 200% plus worth it!

So, have you put my little puzzle pieces together? If you have, the answer comes down to Life! That's what it's all about. No taking a day for granted, no thinking that your parents will always be there, no thinking that I must have the job that I have now in order to provide for my family, no just remembering friends and the past! Today is a new day, despite the challenges! The tumor, TIAs and more are here, have and there will be more coming I'm sure. But, can I worry about them? Yes, to a point, but I can't make any of them disappear. So, no need to ruin the day worrying as each new day of living and loving life is worth it!

Look around you -- your friends, family and more! Concentrate on what matters the most to YOU, my super buds! Show the love -- show the smiles -- and mean it! If you need to make changes in your life for the better - go for it! Don't be afraid to try it -- remember, you only live once! And, I still haven't figured out how to answer my friend's question on the amount of money a person needs to have in order to die -- because I'm not even trying to calculate it or anywhere near that point that I feel the need to give it a thought!

I hope I didn't ramble too much for you, my fingers do like to do the talking, I will admit! But, I'm wishing everyone a safe and wonderful July 4th Holiday Weekend emoticonand remember............

Live and Love for Today Everybody!! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    thank you for writing that!!! emoticon
    2332 days ago
    Hi Momma if you would like to work with the elderly and the disabled try contacting In Home Support Systems IHSS a government agency that pays people to do chores and neccessary help in order for people to live on their own. It is found through the adult protection division of county agencies. No schooling or degrees are needed for this.
    They do offer a 2-4 hour 'education' in California that is mandatory but I am not sure in other states.
    Good luck.
    2369 days ago
    HI, great to hear from you and whats happening.. good luck on finding another job you can enjoy.. hope your body settles down too.. enjoy the holiday.. Hugs
    2390 days ago
    Awesome outlook! And way to go for getting to that point in your life and in your mind. Very inspiring!
    2393 days ago
    Amazing blog from an amazing woman... thank you for sharing and reminding us about walking a mile in someone else's shoes, so many judge us by what we have and no who we are. the comments you got are wonderful and encouraging as well. As I try to pack up all my teaching books, papers, resources etc... I still say if Icould just make the decision not to teach any more, life would be easier. But, not having our own home and living in teacherages for about 8 of the last 10 years, it's like having .... not like having is... starting over again at 58!!!

    I think I've told you this before, I only have diabetes, it seems so miniscule when I see the challenges you are enduring, but I think you are making some very wise decisions and who knows how much time we have and we need to value that time and do things that make us fel good.. Good advice to all of us..

    2393 days ago
    You have such an amazing outlook on life, even with everything that has been thrown your way. I know so many people (many of them family members) who are going through things far less than yours that have thrown in the towel and lost hope. I've tried to inspire them to make a change or view things from a different perspective, but they've chosen their own path. Keep up the great work and positive attitude! emoticon
    2393 days ago
    Cheryl -

    wow! you do have a lot on your plate, besides food! Juggling stress from chronic physical issues, work, parents and loss of friends.

    I appreciate your attitude of gratitude; recognizing how much we have, how our lives are really overflowing in wonderful ways does help balance the seemingly and often very real issues we struggle with.

    Life is a gift, as you have realized. We don't come into it w/$ in the bank and though many people leave w/$ in the bank, that isn't the only legacy option.

    I hope you take some time to consider how you want to use the next 15 years of your life; I use that as it is very likely our 'official retirement' age will be in the late 60's. Find something to do that you will love, will give you energy, will contribute to the world in ways that matter to you. Frederick Buechner, a faith author wrote "The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." (Wishful Thinking: a Seeker's ABC). I think that is one of the things I love about SparkPeople; it is more about 'just' losing weight or being fit - it was created out of an awareness of the joy of motivating others and taking the risk to do that with 100%.
    2394 days ago
    I really admire your great outlook despite what all life has thrown you lately. My wish for you is that life gives you a little bit of a break and things get a little better. emoticon
    2394 days ago
    You have shown such insight to what is happening here too. I am so proud to call you my friend...You are one awesome lady!
    2394 days ago
    It is so nice to hear that you are as feisty as ever despite all the hardships. You are emoticon Thank you for being such an inspiration for me to keep on keepin' on.
    2394 days ago
    Great blog.

    Keeping you in my prayers. emoticon
    2394 days ago
  • FROSTY99
    Very well said. I quit working at 51 to live life and enjoy, we may not be rich, but I won't ever regret those 6 years of travel DH & I enjoyed. As you so nicely put it, $$$ isn't everything. Now I have wonderful memories that will always be there. I thought I would go back to work when we settled down, but I have had to care for my DH and now my father and you know, it works and we are happy so.....I won't ever regret this time I have had with Dad as I know his time is limited now.
    Have a wonderful 4th.
    2394 days ago
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