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the magical cure for anxiety...

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

is action. I have consistently over-eaten for the better (worst?) part of the past week. I have eaten about twice the amount of food I should be taking in, based on my activity level, age, and weight goal. It is no coincidence that while I have been over-consuming, and over-indulging, I have been avoiding certain realities in my life. This morning, after having spent a fairly miserable night that resembled most of the nights I used to have prior to committing to losing 50 lbs with the help of SP, I found new resolve. The first bit of courage required me fully facing the fact that I over-ate last night AFTER I went to bed. Granted, I went to bed uncharacteristically, ridiculously, indulgently early, before 8pm, and I logged the food before I consumed it, but the fact is I ate after I went to bed. This is OLD behavior, and the very behavior that led to me lugging around 50 extra pounds and being miserable in the process. Also, while I logged the food and the amounts prior to turning in with a book and with food, the fact is I ate far more than I initially tracked, so, this morning I went back and corrected it and faced the facts of how much I ate, and while I was dealing with unpleasant truths, I corrected my weight tracker because over this past week I have re-gained a pound of weight that I had worked at losing. Another bit of resolve required of me this morning was to keep my early morning exercise date, despite the fact that my over-eating caused me to wake at 2am, thus resulting in a lack of sleep, along with an upset stomach. Staying in bed would not have fixed anything - the damage was done. I know from past experience that the best way for me to deal with the kind of fatigue caused by restless sleep is not to try and steal a few minutes or a couple hours of more restless sleep, but to get up, exercise, and then look forward to going to bed at a decent hour. The way to deal with an upset stomach from over-eating is not for me to avoid food, thus setting myself up to over-eat once again, but to eat an especially good breakfast filled with protein and fiber, thus giving my body what it needs rather than setting it up to be at the mercy of what it thinks it wants. So, once I exercised and ate well, I required myself to face some things I had been procrastinating about, before I allowed myelf the reward of Sparking. Task one involved dealing with a medical bill for over a thousand dollars, that my insurance company has not paid, and that the medical provider had sent a second bill for. There are several daunting parts to this task: dealing with an unpaid bill (anxiety), dealing with a large sum of money owed, that my husband is stressed out about (fear), dealing with an insurance company and the hold time (frustration) - so I took a deep breath, said a prayer, and dialed. I did what I had to do, I was able to stay pleasant with the person at the medical billing facility and at the insurance company, which inspired them to be pleasant with me, and I received assurance that it was an oversight somewhere along the way and will be paid (relief). I then picked up the phone and made a call to an attorney regarding what should be a routine matter unless it is overlooked (again fear, followed by the relief of taking action and being assured that no deadlines had been missed). Once I was on a roll, I turned my attention to smaller tasks that I had been overlooking: I prepared some food for lunches and a dinner, I cut up some fruit for snacks, I did some laundry, I watered and fed some plants - just little things that don't take long but, when added up, can cause anxiety to build. I am, by my nature, an overly anxious person. Prescription medications are NOT helpful to me, and can be quite the opposite, as a matter of fact, because of my particular brain chemistry and my history with various substances. I know for some people, medications can be a saving grace but for me they tend to cause a number of "unpleasant side effects", the kind they rattle off at the speed of auctioneers during all those commercials that make taking a drug seem equivalent to winning the lottery or setting off on a cruise. THerefore, I am required to find alternate ways to "dial it down" or I find myself turning to food, food, and more food, in an attempt to calm myself. The deal is, it works. Food does calm me, for awhile. It, too, however, has unpleasant side effects like, say, fatness, or regret, or insomnia, or shame, or heartburn, or nausea. For me, prayer and action are my best anti-anxiety strategies, and, of course, they work better together because "faith without works is dead". Sitting around on my arse, begging God for relief, isn't going to fix most of what ails me. Praying for strength and willingness, and then doing what needs to be done, no matter how slowly or reluctantly I may begin, produces far better results and wonderful side effects.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    2414 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/15/2011 8:36:50 AM
    I find food comforting too - for a little bit. But I agree with you also - then the rest creeps in and that stuff is not comforting. I haven't found anything to replace that comfort, but I'm not sure I want to. I find that thinking through things is sometimes better than seeking comfort (which in a way doesn't deal with anything).

    Sometimes life is hard, and not having food as a comfort is stressful. But I hope that with time it'll get better!
    2430 days ago
    Excellent insight! Thanks for sharing!
    2430 days ago
    Are we kindred spirits or what? You always say exactly what I'm thinking and what I need to hear.

    2430 days ago
    You and me both, sister. I am a horrible procrastinator, which just leads to more anxiety, and more procrastination, and Hey! Lookit! More Anxiety! Whaddaya know?! For me, knowing what I need to do and DOING what I need to do are so far apart they need a map to find each other. Good for you for sucking it up and making those phone calls. I'm glad they both worked out favorably, I'm sure that's a huge load off! And reigning in those midnight cravings will help with that other "load" you're working on!
    2431 days ago
  • FLAME42
    Very good, inspiring blog. Have some issues of my own to deal with right now. You showed me I just need to get busy and tackle those issues.
    Hope you get a good rest tonight.
    2431 days ago
    Oh how true.
    I sit here and spend time with Spark. i came into the office to sort a pile of mail and other things that i had let pile up. I too have an insurance issue to handle. A sum that my insurance didn't pay on my knee surgery. I have to call and find out why.
    Little things have built up and are causing me anxiety.
    I know about the sleep issue too. Saturday night I was out late, no sleep. Tried to catch up in the day on Sunday. So then Sunday night I hardly slept, for I had been in bed too much. Monday morning I felt tired and was dragging around.
    Finally Monday night I went to bed, no TV, and slept a full night, sound as could be. Today I feel so much better.
    So now I will sort those papers and get busy straightening out my backed up things to do.
    Thanks for the push.
    Tisha emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2431 days ago
    This was very transparent, very real, very honest. And very true for me as well!!!
    When I have anxiety, there is nothing that my husband or a friend can say that doesn't feel like they just put a bandaid on it temporarily. I've tried hypnotherapy and all sorts of stuff. In the end I knew that I had to work through the issues my way, and in my own time. Unfortunately, I am also impatient! So of course this is all taking longer than I would like... : )
    2431 days ago
    There's just always so much truth and wisdom in everything you write. Thanks for sharing. And thank you for always being a source of inspiration. Your friendship has made this journey so much better. emoticon emoticon I'm glad you got everything worked out. Hopefully tonight you get some wonderful restful, rejuvenating sleep! emoticon
    2431 days ago
    "The way to deal with an upset stomach from over-eating is not for me to avoid food, thus setting myself up to over-eat once again, but to eat an especially good breakfast filled with protein and fiber, thus giving my body what it needs rather than setting it up to be at the mercy of what it thinks it wants."

    2431 days ago
    Wow. This is SO true. I am terribly guilty of letting the little things pile up until they become big problems (just look at my house, my office, my pile of mail...), and the only way is to just "suck it up and deal." This is a great blog. Thanks for the inspiration.
    2431 days ago
    Thank you for this. I have anxiety, mostly around worrying about things I cannot control and how clean the house is. I would kill to have an immaculate house, but it rarely is immaculate, which causes anxiety.

    This blog helped!
    2431 days ago
    Good for you for knowing how to fix the anxiety issues before they get out of hand! Keep up the great work! You're awesome!!! Much SP love!
    2431 days ago
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