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How Do People Have Babies and Do Anything Else???!!!???

Monday, June 27, 2011

My son, our first child, is now around eight weeks old, and I am starting to really stress out. When he is awake, he wants to be eating, entertained, or simply held, so I rarely have a chance to even go to the bathroom without him crying the whole time. And when he finally goes to sleep (which isn't often), I am so busy eating, going to the bathroom, and just recovering that nothing seems to ever get done.

I can't seem to find time to take care of myself or the house. So, I guess I am just wondering, is this normal? I don't have any close friends with kids, but the people I do know seem to be doing just fine. Am I doing something wrong? Does it get easier?
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNUGGLY4U 7/18/2011 11:46AM

    That's pretty normal for the first bit. You can always "cheat" and use a baby bouncy chair, swing, or a baby sling (that is age appropriate).

I would have baths with the baby in the bouncy seat beside the tub, eat while nursing, vacuum with the baby in the sling, nap when the baby napped, and I currently budgeting for some professional cleaning assistance after the baby (I didn't do it for the first 2, but I am wiser now).

And if you have help available ask for it! There is nothing wrong with needing a small time out to recharge your batteries, get some sleep, have a whole meal, etc. It can make everything after feel less all encompassing.


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THERESAMARIEM 6/28/2011 3:11PM

    My LO will be 6 months soon and I remember those days. The first 12 weeks, in my opinion, should be spent taking care of yourself and the baby. Let your SO take care of house work. That's not why you are out of work, to clean the house. You need to be asleep during those times when baby sleeps. For me, the earlier months were when I could count on LO to take long naps, now she just cat naps and even though I'm working, come the weekend I cannot get a nap when she does because it's for about 30 minutes. This is totally normal. It will get easier. My LO is my first as well and it was difficult. Don't stress out about it and you'll be okay. Just make sure baby is fed and changed and shown lots of love and you'll do just fine.

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JACRBUNCH 6/28/2011 10:29AM

    It will get better. Eventually you will figure out a routine that works for you and your baby, but it takes time. Remember that it is not the end of the world if he has to cry for a few minutes in order for you to use the bathroom or take a shower or eat. I remember feeling like the world's worst mom when my son would cry if I was taking care of personal needs. I don't think I ate anything warm the first 3 months. LOL My Dr. and my mom reminded me constantly if I didn't take care of my needs I wouldn't be able take care of him. I know it is hard and everyone is full of advice. Use what you can and discard the rest. Hang in there. They are definitely worth the work.

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TERI331 6/27/2011 9:53PM

    The best advice I ever got was from a doctor...He told me that babies don't die from crying and if need be put them in a safe place so that I could get a shower and such. Don't feel bad if you need to take 10 or 15 minutes to yourself. He actually told me to start letting him cry (my oldest is a boy) for a minute and slowly up the time as much as I felt comfortable with once I knew he wasn't hungry or dirty to about 15 minutes. Funny story, I once put him down and had to walk out of the house for a breather
.....and locked myself outside! Talk about panicked!!! I called the cops to help me break in to my own house! LOL

If you can try getting a sling though....sometimes it helps immensely to pop them in a sling so you can get some light housework done. If you feel like the baby is crying to an excessive degree then talk to the doctor. It may be just colic or gas or you can just get some tips from the doctor.

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SERENDIPITY22 6/27/2011 9:38PM

    Please know you are not alone. I did not enjoy a lot of the time with my newborn. I felt stressed out and exactly the way you feel. My son is now six months old and to me, it's so much easier and enjoyable. Hang in there, momma!

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CHARLIESGIRL69 6/27/2011 7:55PM

    It is absolutely normal. Since this is your first child you will need to take some time to adjust and eventually it will all work itself out. Good luck to you!

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ALICIAINBOSTON 6/27/2011 7:50PM

  It will get better! It is a huge adjustment and it's okay to let yourself take whatever time you need in order to adjust. It's good that you reached out to this community for support and if you can also reach out to friends around you physically, that is good. Remember that when we're looking into someone's lives we don't see everything they're struggling with (and it could be something else that is totally unrelated but it's still causing them stress). Moms need to support each other and let each other know that things aren't always as they appear. Hang in there and be patient with yourself during this journey.

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ASORIA33 6/27/2011 7:40PM

    You are not doing anything wrong. Keep in mind...this too shall pass! It is an extremely emotional adjustment and it will take time for you and your son to make the adjustments. I remember thinking after my first...will I ever be able to leave the house again, and when a friend told me she was going to the gym, I cried all night thinking that my life would never be the same again. I struggled with a mild case of baby blues...it wasn't a full blown depression but it was hard. Please feel free to message me if you need to talk. People that had an easy adjustment sometimes don't understand. I would love to help in anyway that I can.

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