Friday, June 24, 2011
I have had another busy week.
My husband went to the V.A. clinic to get his shoulder injury examined. He has had an injury for YEARS to his left shoulder that has gotten progressively worse with time. He refused care for it until I made him go to our primary doctor, who told him he should get it looked at throught the Vet's clinic. They took some x-rays and recommended PT. More to follow.
My daughter had another dentist appointment. YAY, it was soooo fun. We have now reached the 3k mark this year on dental care. If she doesn't learn to floss and care for her teeth soon, I am going to be brushing my 15 year old's teeth FOR her. She is FINALLY starting to grasp that her teeth need to last her for life, and that dentures SUCK. Maybe she will get the picture.
Today, I had to drop off my boxer before work so he could have surgery at the Vet. He had a HUGE tumor on his chest. I picked him up at 4pm today. He was woozy and will be on antibiotics for ten days. $810 later, I brought him home.
So, busy week at work, stressing over bills, then I look and notice hubby has spent $100 bucks on "random crap"- books, hobby stuff. UGH. I am not a control freak. Well, not TOO bad. BUT-- I had to REALLY get creative to come up with money to fund both dental work AND a doggy surgery this month. We had discussed the money issue. So when he went out to buy "just an art brush" tonight, I let him have it. My perspective: your purchases should have waited since we discussed this extra costs this month. His perspective: quit your whining, it is just a paint brush. Needless to say, he is off to Michaels to buy "just a paintbrush" (he isn't counting models and books he bought without telling me), and I am sitting here so very angry at him. I bet there is smoke coming out of my ears.
I am a busy woman. I have to do WAY too much as it is. I work full time, shuttle kids around, work AROUND appointments for the kids, dogs, myself so that I can not lose income. I clean, shop, cook, pay bills. I don't have time to babysit my husband. I need to TRUST him to follow through with our agreements when we make a deal about finances.....
Why does this belong on Sparkpeople? Because try as I may, I cannot separate my personal and professional stressors from my weight loss journey. I don't live on a ranch with trainers. I need to "deal" with this stuff and not walk away and stuff my face with food that will make me fat and sick.
THIS IS MY STRUGGLE. How to I shrug off the bad? I sit here not wanting to get up and work out. My motivation is gone. I feel so very frustrated right now.
I know I am a little stronger this time around though. The old me would not be typing here. I would be in my fridge or pantry, looking for something to eat. The fact that I am trying to talk myself out of my funk is a good thing.
Ok self, here is what you are going to do:
1. March straight to your elliptical, turn on some music, then work out until the sweat drips from your brow. It is hard to stay mad when you are exhausted.
2. You are going to take a nice, warm shower for as long as you want.
3. You are going to give yourself a nice facial.
4. Tomorrow, you are going to use that nice gift card you got for your birthday to get your hair cut and styled. No kids allowed.
5. You are going to LET IT GO and take care of business like you always do.
Now, get off the computer and get to sweating.