Disappointing Prenatal Visit
Friday, June 24, 2011
Everything is fine with the baby - heart beat a good 151bpm, size is measuring fine, head down, everything on track for 26.3wks.
However, I have gained another f'ing 10lbs since my last visit about a month ago.
This puts me up to 183lbs, somewhere I never wanted to be again in my life. A mental place I hoped to never have to come back to - reminding me of everything bad about being fat that I thought I was done with. A total gain since the beginning of this of 30lbs. sh*t.
I am so disappointed in myself and my obviously bad food choices or whatever has caused this ridiculous amount of weight gain in 4 short weeks. Seriously? 10lbs?
I am so upset right now, it is hard to even articulate the amount of emotional distress this is causing me.
I cannot wait to be done with this process and just have the baby and get back to my real body. I am seriously thinking I will never repeat the pregnancy process in the future. This is just too much.
What a way to start a weekend.
Member Comments About This Blog Post
I'm worried about the weight gain with this baby too. I now at 183 lbs weight MORE at 25 months than I did walking into L&D with my daughter at 37 weeks (and I thought I was fat then).
I know I can lose the weight (that walking into L&D wasn't my high weight) but it is a psychological sticking point for me since there is a 10 year age gap between my son and this baby, and 12 between my daughter and this baby.
Early 20's pregnancy was easy. Early 30's pregnancy is annoying!
And if anyone tells you that you ungrateful for not enjoying every moment of being pregnant tell them to sod off (with a smile of course). Being pregnant is a huge endeavour for some people and that needs to be acknowledged.
I've often said that I would happily skip pregnancy and just go conception (that was fun!), labour (I can deal), and then NEW BABY! YAY!
2043 days ago
Comment edited on: 7/18/2011 11:40:10 AM
im sorry your having such a hard time. i worry about my weight/weight gain also. its sooo hard to let go of your body and just let it gain and do what it needs to do. it couldnt be from the heat and water retention could it?? i use to weigh myself every week, but i was getting so upset with the weight gain that i was rapidly putting on. at one point i had gained 6lbs in 2 weeks! i then went for my md appt dreading what they would say with my weight gain, and according to their scales i had only gained 5lbs that month! i was like what the?!?!? sooo i stopped weighing myself and im going to just go with it and see how it goes at my next appt. keep your chin up....i know its hard. i understand, i really really do. I hate gaining weight, even tho it is for a good cause and cant wait for the baby to get here so i can get my body back!
oh-and i just wanted to add, that i HATE being pregnant also. im very short waisted and the baby sits low, right on top of my bladder. its very painful, along with the back pain and my scoliosis. I hate when ppl make me feel bad for saying that i hate being pregnant....so i just wanted you to know that your not alone =)
2057 days ago
Comment edited on: 7/4/2011 12:10:17 PM
I'm sorry that you're having a hard time, I feel the same way about my weight gain, it's as if I just can't get it under control. Even when I know I'm making a bad choice I seem to rationalize it or something in my head and then before I know I've ate whatever I was mentally debating about anyways. Hope that makes sense! our bodies are doing something that is truly amazing, but that doesn't stop me from missing my life before being pregnant...and we worked hard for this! I feel guilty even saying that after all the treatments but its the way I feel... I also know what you mean about not wanting to ever go through pregnancy again because of how you feel...but I can tell you that I had the absolute worst final months with Cale and a terrible birth...complications, months in the NICU...and before you know it you've forgotten all of that because you're just so in love and amazed at this little creature you have created. You are a beautiful person, and before you know it you'll be right back in control of your weight and working towards your goals...just think how much more powerful and proud of yourself you'll feel doing this all over again and setting such a great example for your little one. **HUGS**
2062 days ago
I will assure you that you are not alone in these feelings. I had sooo planned to gain only 25 pounds and was very much on track until I stopped working. I am now at 35 pounds with a few weeks to go and I cringe every time I see the scale, but I kind of have to put up a mental block of "I will deal with this later" and everyone keeps saying things like, "It is the baby." Or "If you breastfeed it will come off easier." So I am putting faith in those nice comments...everyone tells me not to worry, but I know how hard it is to follow that advice!
2063 days ago
I just want to pipe in and come to your defense. I think that disliking pregnancy (as in not liking anything about it at all) yet loving the becoming a mother/creating a familiy are definitely two completely different things. Even though you and I might be in the minority about feeling this way, there isn't anything WRONG about feeling this way, and there isn't a need to change the way you feel. Yes, you'll have to find a way to cope with these feelings as you progress through your pregnancy, but in the end, pregnancy does END, you DO feel like your old self again, and then you can enjoy your new little one and your new little family. I promise! (And, it is worth it a second time. You don't have to make up your mind now, but just don't rule it out. Let yourself recover, give yourself a few years, and re-evaluate. I think it is a little easier the second time around knowing that you are in for, knowing you don't love the process, but now knowing how wonderful it is when the little one arrives.)
2064 days ago
You are so amazing, don't ever forget that! You have the power to make your body into a lean machine once your baby is born, just like you did before. It might even be easier this time if you breastfeed. I gained 52 lbs with my girl -- all I wanted to eat during my pregnancy was meat, and lots of it deli meat! I was so swollen by the end of it that I couldn't even fit into my shoes. But it all came off within about 12 months, a good chunk of it within 6 weeks due to water retention. You have the power to MAKE a BABY! How cool is THAT?? Afterwards, you can redirect that power to your own body and get back on track. You will. Just breathe for now and try to love what you are making with your amazing, powerful, wonderful body. You can totally do this. You are an amazing, smart, beautiful and powerful woman!
2064 days ago
This is not really not easy for you but i do think you need to put in a lot of mental work to accept and embrace the situation. It should be a time for expectation and joy for you and no worries about your weight. It´s a good thing that you wrote about it in a blog, I think it helps to put feelings in writing. Keep on doing so and try to ignore if you get questioned. You hae obviously done a great job in getting rid of weight, try to trust that you will do that again after the baby is born. Also remember that the number on the scale during pregnancy stems from many factors - I had preeclampsia which meant that my body had a lot of water that disappeared after the baby was born.
2064 days ago
I can completely relate to this. I had lost 140 pounds before I got pregnant. Nope, not a typo...I went from 262 pounds to a range between 120-125. For the FIRST time in my life, I felt amazing and strong. I went from a size 26 to a size 4. I VOWED to myself that with this pregnancy, I would be healthy and would only gain the recommended 25-30 pounds. Nope. At 28 weeks, I've gained about 60 pounds. SIXTY. I swore that my weight would never begin with a "2" again, but here I am. Every time I step on the scale for my appointments, I'm up 9-10 pounds. That's not even counting the 20 pounds I packed on before my first OB appt. I'm definitely disgusted with myself that basically, I gave myself an excuse to go back to my old habits because I was scared and it was a convenient excuse to use. Now I'm going to have probably 60+ pounds to lose after the baby comes. I know some of it is out of my control, but a lot of it is IN my control and I have failed. I can understand and relate to your feelings. If you ever need to vent, feel free to message me!
2065 days ago
I'm sorry you're upset about the gain. :( Maybe you could evaluate what you're eating and change some of them into healthier things? Like, if you're eating too many chips/crackers, you could switch to pretzels. Or candy/treats, you could switch to fruits you like? I hope you feel better about things soon. :)
2066 days ago
You have to remember the parts of pregnancy weight gain that are completely incontrollable - particularly water weight gain. It sucks to gain weight, but at the end of this nine months you get a beautiful baby. Just continue to eat as healthy as you can and keep active, and focus on losing weight after baby is born.
2066 days ago
I know how you feel... I gained 10 pounds last month and this visit ( 2 week visit) I was up 6 pounds. They think I am gaining lots of weight because of water retention ( I am getting very swollen).... maybe that's the case for you too?
2066 days ago
Seriously? You are missing the magic of what is happening. Your body is making a miracle. The most beautiful and wonderful thing a body can do and your worried about weight?? I don't mean you need to go crazy, but, eating healthy, drinking water and exercising will mean a healthy pregnancy. I wish I could shake you. This will be over in the blink of an eye and in 20 years you may look back and wish you didn't waste so much energy worrying about what you weighed and bask in the WONDER of what your body is creating!!
2066 days ago
This biog caught my eye (it was on the feed)
I am sort of going through the same thing you are and I would love to support you and show you you are not the only one.
Years ago I lost 40lbs. I went from a size 7 jeans to a size 3 and have been happy and content with my weight. I am currently 34 weeks pregnant and am already at the weight I lost years ago. It is very difficult for me to see this number again and it makes me want to give up. (I just found this out at my last apt on Tuesday) It makes me just want to give up and eat even more. What is so frustrating is I have been going on the elliptical 45 minutes a day as a light activity... STILL! Yet I have gained so much. I am now counting my calories (which is why I joined this website this morning actually). Sometimes your body just needs to gain weight and store fats for the baby. It is hard, but you just need to let it happen! Feel free to message me anytime if you ever want to chat.
2066 days ago
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